Blood sharing is personal
by ClairefromAyr
Summary: What could have happened after episode 2 of season 4! Stefan is angry about Elena feeding from Damon. Elena is confused and Damon is full of want. What happens next! Warnings for adult scenes, blood letting and sexual content blah blah...
1. Chapters 1-8

CHAPTER 1

"Damon!Damon I know you can hear me!" Elena's voice bounced off of the walls of the Salvatore house like a lightning bolt, raw and charged with power. Although only a few days old, she had enough fire in her bark to make these ancient brick walls explode and crumble into dust. Perhaps there was a bit of Katherine in her after all. Damon sighed and continued sipping his brandy. She would find him soon enough, why bother rushing into the tornado when it would whirlwind around him soon anyway.

"Damon!" She growled as she stepped into the room to find him leisurely draped over the sofa, looking at her with his best puppy-dog eyes.

"Elena." He rolled the e's of her name over his tongue, sounding slightly satisfied at the sound it made. He knew what he'd done was wrong, he just didn't care. She felt her blood start to boil.

"How could you do it? How could you let me drink from you and not tell me what it means?!" She wasn't sure if she really expected him to answer. His normal response to confrontations was to smile at her, give her the smouldering eyes and play the bad boy excuse card. She folded her arms around herself almost protectively from the power of his seductive gaze. Even when he said nothing, he had this ability to make her whole body vibrate in response. Something she found both distressing and appealing at the same time. Damon chuckled softly and sighed again, looking down at his glass.

"You spoke to Stefan about our little rendezvous then?"

"It isn't just drinking your blood is it? It means more." She felt herself start to shiver. Her nose began to sting, threatening tears. How was it that she could never stay mad at him? Why did she always become the weeping girl when she was trying to reprimand him?

"What did Stefan say?"

"He told me that it was the most… intimate thing" her words caught in her throat for a second as she swallowed down the feeling of embarrassment and betrayal down again, "that could be shared between two vampires." He smiled in response, still not looking at her.

"Did you enjoy it?" He looked up at her still with the smirk on his face, his perfect face, a mask of indifference.

"Stop it Damon. I'm being serious."

"So am I." He cut in, dropping the fake smile. Must they always play this game? Why couldn't he act like a normal person?

"Damon, you know how I feel. We've talked about this and you respected my decision. If I can't trust you.." Damon abruptly stood up and moved to her, staring down at her intensely.

"That's the problem Elena. I do know how you feel, even if you don't." Elena sighed exasperated and shook her head, trying to put some distance between them, but he grabbed her shoulders until she looked up into his eyes again.

"I made my choice Damon and I need to know that you can be my friend and help me. If you are just going to take advantage of me.."

"You came to me Elena!" He rolled the vowels of her name out again, this time with a hint of venom in his voice that stopped her short. "You asked me for help and I gave it to you."

"Don't you get it?" She felt a tear slip down from her traitorous eyes. She always seemed to be crying and she hated it. Still, the only benefit was that Damon could never stay mad and intense with her when she cried. His whole body reacted as though he were being tortured. "You made me think that it was okay to drink your blood. You didn't even consider how it would make me feel when Stefan found out." They both took a breath and stared at each other. Finally Damon released her from his hold on her shoulders and returned slowly to his chair. It seemed like an age passed before he spoke again.

"It's always about poor Stefan and his feelings - never mind mine. The torment I'm going through watching you struggle with all of this! Watching you starving yourself, hurting when there is no need for it when I can help you. You say I don't respect your wishes but I didn't force you. I could have dragged a human over and let him bleed out in front of you until you couldn't hold yourself back, but I didn't."

"Why can't you ever just admit you were wrong and apologise?!" She shouted now. The time for weeping was over. He turned to look at her sharply.

"I can't apologise for wanting to give you everything, everything I have to stop your pain. I won't ever apologise for that."

The flame of anger ignited inside her once more. This was a pointless conversation. She turned on her heel and strode angrily from the room, leaving him to watch.

CHAPTER 2

"Why didn't you tell me?!" Caroline asked in shock and disbelief. Elena twirled the phone cord around her fingers, very aware of Caroline's opinions of Damon. Strange that despite her anger towards him, she still felt like she had to defend him when Caroline went on one of her anti-Damon rants. She sighed into the receiver.

"I'm still not sure what to make of it all Car. I mean I told him I wouldn't hurt anyone, but I couldn't keep down animal blood either. I was so scared and hungry. Maybe he thought it was the only option."

"Elena that is ridiculous! He could have called Stefan."

"Stefan is so mad about it. I still don't fully get why. I mean, I kissed Damon before and he wasn't as angry as he is now."

"Well of course he wasn't! Elena, sharing blood is like making love. It is the most powerful bond experience that exists. God, Tyler and I thought our sex life was amazing until I drank from him and we realised what we were missing!"

"He feels like Damon and I have made love?!" Suddenly the pennies all started to drop in her mind. No wonder Stefan had been so grieved.

"Blood sharing isn't something you do with just anyone. It connects you so much deeper than in any physical way and Damon knew that. He wants that with you." Caroline actually started to sound slightly more forgiving of Damon in her last sentence.

"But, I didn't feel anything like that, I just felt hunger. Do you think Damon.." The thought that Damon could have been in rapture while she clung to him, feeding the pain in her stomach, frightened her. Renewed anger filled her and she found herself biting her lip so hard she drew blood.

"I think that Damon feels affected by you even when he brushes against you, never mind when you were drinking from him." Caroline sighed. "He shouldn't have done it." Elena lay back on her bed as silence filled their conversation. Neither of them knew what to say next.

"Elena, just answer me this one thing.." Caroline took her time speaking and Elena knew that could only mean she was worried about making her angry. "When you were drinking from him, did you.."

"Don't go there Caroline!" Elena warned but Caroline had to have her say.

"I know you love Stefan, but I know that you love Damon too. All I'm saying is that if you did feel something more when you were drinking from him, maybe it's not so terrible."

"What are you talking about Caroline?! He tricked me. It should have been with Stefan!"

"I know he did, but if you felt something maybe you should think about what that means. Elena you are a vampire now and we are going to live forever. Forever is a long time to have doubts about how you really feel. The same rules don't apply to us anymore, just think about it."

CHAPTER 3

Elena thought that sleep would make her feel better but she dreamt over and over about the taste of him. His skin, his blood, the feel of his muscular body pressed against hers. She hated that her own mind could turn against her. She awoke starving and annoyingly lustful. She wished she had convinced Stefan to stay with her last night, that way she could relieve herself with the man she actually wanted to share herself with. Her stomach growled violently and she began to worry about how she was going to feed today. She knew now that she couldn't handle anything but blood from the vein, but who's vein? She had to get out before Jeremy got up and started to smell too good. Matt had willingly offered yesterday but she knew it was because he felt so guilty about everything that had transpired. Could she really ask him again? Before she could ponder too long on that equation, she was interrupted by the unmistakeable sound of Stefan arriving at her window and knocking. She let him in, trying to gauge if he was still mad.

"Sorry I didn't call, I just wasn't sure what I was going to say." He brushed himself down nervously. She nodded, sitting down on the edge of the bed. "Considering Damon's mood I guess that you talked to him last night?"

She nodded, not wanting to say anything that might make him more upset with her just now. He continued "Look Elena, I know that everything is new and it's going to take time for you to understand how to be a vampire. All I want is to try and help you avoid all the terrible things I've had to go through, but I realise now that I can't protect you from everything. I know how close you and Damon have become and I know how deeply he feels for you." He paused, swallowing his distaste for what he was about to say. "I think that I need to give you some space to figure some things out for yourself"

"You're leaving?" She reached for him frightened, but he extended his hand and held hers lovingly.

"You fed from him."

"But I didn't know..!" Elena butted in frantically.

"I know." He soothed her. "But it doesn't change the fact that it happened and I don't know whether I am angry because he knew what he was doing or whether I am angry because I'm afraid that you enjoyed it. That you wanted him." Tears began to pour from her eyes and he pulled her into a hug, stroking her hair down her back. When she eventually pulled back to look into his eyes, there were tears there which were taking every bit of his control not to be unleashed.

"I love you." She whispered.

"I know you do, but you love him too. I think we both need to know how much, because I can't continue feeling this way, playing this game with him. I'm going to go away for a week and I want you to explore whatever it is that you feel for him. If you decide that you want to be with him right now, I will leave you in peace."

"But I love you more Stefan." She shed another round of tears.

"Maybe he is the one you need right now, maybe not. Forever is a long time. I will _always_ be here. I think you need to decide this without any interference from me. If you call, I will _always_ come to you." He emphasized the word 'always' and squeezed her hands affectionately. Then he left her to her thoughts.

CHAPTER 4

It took her all day to work up the courage to leave her room. She didn't know what to do. She did know that she wanted to seriously injure Damon for all the trouble he had caused her yet again. She had to admit though, that she was scared of what might happen if she went over there. Why was it that she could never trust herself with him? How did he always manage to make her crumble?

Stefan wanted her to be sure and if this was the only way to win Stefan back then she was going to do it. She was going to finally have it out with Damon once and for all. It wasn't fair to Stefan to have him constantly wondering about her devotion to him and she wanted to be able to commit to him fully, now that they were on equal footing and had the rest of their lives ahead of them. What was he expecting her to do though? Did he want her to kiss Damon? She had been too frightened to ask for details. She was just going to have to jump into the deep end and see. Had Stefan even talked to Damon about this?

She stood up, resolved to get this over with as quickly as possible so she could call Stefan and bring him back. He had refused to say where he was going, citing that he needed some personal space. She grabbed her keys and called to Jeremy on the way out. She knew he was in his room, she could hear his heart beat, but she was striving to act like her old self and still follow human routines. She shouted that she would be back later that evening but for some reason she lied and said she was going to Caroline's. Even as she spoke the words, she felt a knot in her stomach. Why had she felt the need to lie?

The drive to the Salvatore house seemed to take forever and she became conscious that she still hadn't fed today. It was a silly oversight and she would have to try one of the blood bags in the cellar and see if she could keep it down. Unsurprisingly the door was ajar when she arrived, as though he had known she was coming. Maybe Stefan had talked to him. She suddenly felt a rush of adrenaline, fear, excitement, anger? She couldn't tell one emotion from another. She took a deep breath and entered the hallway. Damon was sat by the fire with his back to her reading an old book. He made no move as she entered and took a seat across from him in the arm chair. He didn't even look up when she said his name.

"Damon. Damon? We need to talk." She said leaning forward to place a hand on his knee. He flinched at her attempt at contact and moved to pour some brandy.

"So talk." He said simply, focussing on his brandy glass. He remained standing, his body language giving away much more about his feelings than he would ever dare admit or have pointed out to him.

"Why didn't you tell me what we were doing?" She sat forward. He drained his glass in one mouthful and began filling another.

"Because I knew you wouldn't understand why."

"What do you mean?"

"You really think that I can't be selfless don't you?" He looked straight at her. The mocking tone in his voice made her feel very small and suddenly very unprepared for this conversation. "That I couldn't possibly put your needs before mine. That I can't possibly love you as much as he does."

"I don't understand."

"Of course you don't, because you don't want to see it. You don't want to see that I would give you every drop in my body if it would take away your suffering and it would only be for that reason. Not because I wanted you."

"But you do." She finally said it aloud to herself. He stayed motionless, watching her. She began to feel the temperature in the room rise very quickly. She could feel herself turning scarlet under the gaze of his long eyelashes and crystal coloured eyes. She could feel the want from him. Desire dilated his pupils. Neither spoke as the fire crackled next to them. The longer the silence wore on, the more she realised that she should really have fed today. Her body was quivering under Damon's gaze and she began to felt jittery under its power. She broke eye contact with him and rubbed her hands on her thighs. Desperate for some other physical sensation than the sudden lack of air in the room.

"You haven't fed today." He commented, still watching her from the brandy table.

"I didn't have time. I thought maybe I would try a blood bag again. Maybe if it was warm, I might be able to keep it down." He nodded and gestured in the direction of the cellar. She stood up, willing herself not to look at his face as she passed him when suddenly the floor moved beneath her, as if the floor had tilted all of a sudden and then she was in his arms. How did she end up in his arms so often? He looked down at her with concern, all of the lust and fierceness in him instantly a distant memory as her lifted her and lay her on the sofa.

"I will bring some up to you, you'll be ok." He dashed out of the room and reappeared with two blood bags. "Here's one I heated up earlier." He smiled and cradled her head towards the bag. She didn't need him to cradle her like this but she found that she didn't mind. This was the side to him that she wished would appear more often and she wasn't going to chase it away. She sucked at the blood gratefully, praying that it would reach her stomach, however no sooner than she had dared to hope, she felt the retching happen already and she vomited over herself and on Damon. He dabbed the blood from her face with his handkerchief, comforting her as she made small sobs of frustration.

"It's hopeless." She sighed as her stroked her hair from her face.

"It's not hopeless, it's normal. This is what is supposed to be. We aren't made to drink blood out of plastic containers. We are predators Elena. Stefan can deny that all he wants to, but it is who we are." He was being so gentle, looking at her so adoringly that she couldn't help but feel her body warm up and tingle at his touch. He was such an enigma. She gazed up at him, the light from the fire reflecting in his eyes, intensifying the shadows around his cheekbones. He almost looked angelic, like one of the Fey with his eyes so deep and full of wonder and skin so pale and soft. She had the urge to reach up and touch his face. God how she had always longed to touch that perfect marble-like face! She didn't know whether it was the light-headedness she was feeling or whether it was the permission she had been granted by Stefan, but she decided to try. To see if he would allow her to touch himlike that. She slowly raised her fingers, nervously watching for any indication from him that he did not consent and softly traced the line of his cheekbone. He didn't/couldn't blink or move. She would never understand why she had to power to render Damon so motionless, as though he was a mouse caught in the grip of a serpent. Had she really just thought of herself as the serpent? She would have to store that observation away and deal with what that meant later!

"Elena." He whispered, a hint of hesitation in his voice as he closed his eyes. She realised that if she was going to explore these feelings, this was a great opportunity and although she had been fighting with her feelings on the matter all day, at that moment all she could think about was the rush she was feeling. She pushed herself up with her free hand, not ceasing her ministrations on his face and paused briefly at his lips. He was so close his breath was on her face, ragged and shallow. His eyes remained closed and it excited her. He would trust her to do anyhting to him. She leaned in the last distance to his mouth and kissed him slowly, experimentally. Yes, she had kissed him before but it had been different. It had been a flurry of doubt and sudden desire that she hadn't put much consciouss thought into when they were in Denver and when he was dying that kiss was more of a goodbye. She wanted this kiss to be something that she could control and make the decision to conscioussly do without any doubt of her intentions. He seemed to realise this and gently kissed her back without taking lead. His lips were so soft and warm. She had never noticed the fullness of them before and she found that she liked it. She moved her hand around to the back of his head and curled her fingers in his long raven hair. He sighed and she found the sound so pleasing she stroked her fingers through his hair again gently. She noticed his breathing quicken and his body tense slightly. He was trying to hold himself back and let her lead. She felt a burst of pride in him that he should fight so hard with his dominant instincts in order to let her guide him. She decided to give him some input as she opened her mouth and let him place his tongue inside. The taste of him was instant and strong. He tasted like fire - hot, spicy and consuming. Was kissing supposed to be so intense? She felt so overwhelmed but the gentle strokking of his tongue against hers that she scarcely had control over her technique! He slipped his arm around her back and brought her closer to him, holding her carefully as though she would break.

Their kissing quickened and became more desperate. Everything about him was electric. Every brush of his hands over her body felt like a shock and she whimpered into his mouth. There was no room, no fire crackling in the fireplace, only the two of them touching, loving…and then Stefan.

She tried to blink away the image of Stefan popping into her mind as Damon panted her name against her neck in between kisses. She had pulled him right on top of her now and she could feel his heat and desire pressed flush against her.

Stefan..

"No.." she mumbled, unsure of whom she was talking to. Damon had began to kiss over the top of her breasts when he stopped.

"What?" he asked. Elena shook her head and pulled him up to kiss her mouth again. He seemed to melt into her at will. She ran her hands down his back, pulling his shirt out of his jeans. She had always wanted to touch his lean, muscular back ever since she had walked in on him naked years before. He moaned as she stroked the gooseflesh appearing along his side.

Stefan..

"Wait stop.." she mumbled, torn. He lifted his head and sighed sadly. She felt so frustrated. She couldn't help but feel like this was wrong. She loved Stefan, but Damon was doing things to her body that she never thought possible and they were only kissing! He seemed to read her mind.

"Tell me to stop." He said and leant down to kiss her deeply again, taking her breath away. She drew in a deep breath.

"Just tell me to stop." He whispered seductively and kissed her with the same passion again, pulling her groin closer to his, eliciting a whimper from her. Her head began to spin slightly and she felt like she needed to sit up for a moment.

She pushed his chest with one hand as she held onto him with the other, taking him with her as she sat up. Fire burned in his eyes as they looked at each other. She leaned into his neck, feeling his arm encompass her and stroke her back as she kissed his throat, wanting to taste his skin and feel the strength of his muscles there. As she continued to place soft kisses there, she began to grow hyper aware of the blood coursing through his neck and she began to hunger. His blood had been so wonderful, it had taken over her whole being. She had omitted this when talking to Caroline because she felt ashamed to admit it to herself and others. At this moment it was all she could think about.

She could feel the urge to bite begin to overwhelm her and he must have sensed it as he pulled her away. "Wait!" he said breathless and flushed from desire. She was confused. He had wanted this before. He had instigated it yesterday and yet when she leaned back in to taste him he shook his head again.

"Why not?" she asked dazed, feeling slightly inebriated by the smell of him.

"What about Stefan?" He asked, his expression pained and full of longing for her. She smiled at him seductively, then whispered in his ear.

"Tell me to stop."

CHAPTER 5

Any doubt over whether she wanted him ended as soon as his eyes turned black with need. He hadn't been expecting her to play this out, she thought. Truth was, neither had she, but the allure of his blood, the smell of his scent filling her nose and mouth was too much to deny. She had always been so hard on herself, so righteous and good. The old Elena would never have cheated on Stefan, but then, Stefan had given her permission to explore this…whatever this was and she fully intended not to leave this house until she had.

Damon still hadn't moved in response to her whispers telling him to stop her. She quite liked him like this, liked this game that she had seen him play with others. Now she understood why he enjoyed it so much. She giggled seductively and leaned into him again, this time pushing him onto his back in one quick movement. He gasped in surprise and that made her hotter inside. She resumed kissing his neck and collarbone, marvelling at how like a Greek statue his body was – so lithe and perfect. She heard a growling noise and realised that it was coming from her. His breath was coming in short gasps, almost as if he was frightened of what she was going to do. He groaned as she ran her tongue up his neck slowly, savouring every patch of his silky skin.

"Elena…please!" He begged suddenly, holding her to him tightly. That was all the invitation she needed. She bit into his neck slowly, wanting to savour him. He shuddered against her as she drew her first taste of him. She felt like she had been hit by a truck at the sensations pouring into her. Drinking from his hand had been nothing like this! She could feel him everywhere, as though he was inside of her. Now she understood what Caroline had meant about it being like making love. She felt full of him and her whole body throbbed in delight as she swallowed more of the delicious elixir that was his blood. He moaned underneath her, writhing slightly as she lifted his head slightly to get in deeper. He gasped in what sounded like pleasure and dropped his arms from her back. The sounds coming from him made her feel like she was reeling with pleasure. The fact that she could make him moan like this was wonderful and made her feel powerful and beautiful. She could do this forever. Caroline was right, this was so much better than sex, it was so much more intense. With every gasp or whimper from him, she could feel her loins burning with shocks of pleasure, as though he had his fingers inside of her, but she knew that he didn't. She wanted to taste more of him, every inch of his body now seemed like a golden fountain containing the liquid of eternal life and sensation. She drank with continuing fervour, grasping his body tightly as she rocked him into ecstacy.

After what seemed like a hundred years she realised that his breath wasn't coming as quickly as before and he was sweating. She released him and held him, looking down into his face. He was paler than usual and had his eyes closed.

"Damon?" She asked slightly alarmed. She had thought he was feeling the same peace and ecstacy as she was, but he seemed to be sedated. He smiled slowly, not opening his eyes.

"More." He whispered, sounding as though he were drugged. Elena frowned, touching his face and feeling alarmed when he didn't respond.

"Oh my god, Damon I'm so sorry. Are you ok?" She had taken too much from him. She knew this wouldn't kill him but it wasn't exactly the romantic moment she had envisioned or intended.

He smiled again. "Take it all.." he said as he tried to open his eyes. He looked so weak. Why had he let her do this? Why hadn't he stopped her? Remorse filled her and she shushed him. She moved to get off of him and he groaned in complaint, trying to put his arms around her again, but she was stronger and full of him so she easily slipped out of his arms and off of the couch. She picked up the blood bags that they had discarded when she had vomited and opened one for him. She placed it to his lips encouraging him to drink. He frowned and turned his head away.

"Damon you have to drink." She encouraged trying to place it in his mouth again, but he grabbed her hand and forced her away. He still had some strength left obviously, but she had more. She straddled him and he relaxed a little.

"Damon you need to feed. I've taken too much from you. Do you understand?" She wasn't sure if he was completely aware of what was going on. He seemed slightly incoherent. She sighed as he batted her hand away again. What use was she? She couldn't feed on animals without vomiting everywhere, she couldn't stomach human blood from a bag and apparently now she couldn't even be intimate with another vampire without half killing them. She was hopeless! She choked on a sob and he opened his eyes.

"Let me die this way." He said, suddenly lucid. She frowned.

"What are you talking about?"

"I want to die giving you everything."

"Damon, don't be stupid! You're not going to die, why would you want to die?"

"Because you will still go back to him…after this." He closed his eyes again and she sighed. Was he right? What had she done to him? In her own selfish way she had yet again tortured him. She had come here tonight to satisfy herself, never thinking about how it would affect Damon. He knew she would give herself to him only on this one occasion and then leave him to his agony afterwards. She hated herself. Damon wanted to die pleasuring her so that she could be satisfied and his misery would end.

"I'm sorry." She began to sob uncontrollably and even though he could barely open his eyes, he drew her to him again and she lay there with him sobbing until she fell asleep.

CHAPTER 6

She awoke through the sensation of someone stroking down her back gently. She sighed and smiled, breathing in Stefans' scent deeply until she realised it wasn't Stefan. Her eyes sprang open and the events of last night came flooding back into her memory like a tidal wave. She lifted her head from Damons' chest and glanced up at him. He must have been watching her sleeping as he gazed at her in wonder still with a small smile on his lips.

"Hi." She whispered.

"Hi there." He smiled in response. What the hell was she going to say now? She started to panic but managed to keep her face as blank as she could.

"Damon, I.." she started, but he shushed her placing his finger over her lips.

"You don't need to explain anything. It was my fault."

"What do you mean?" She frowned, slightly put out that he was going to make her an innocent party once again when she had been the most active and willing participant.

"I seduced you." His stereotypical smirk appeared and she suddenly wanted to slap it off his face. Was he kidding? She sat up, effectively straddling him again.

"What are you talking about, it was my choice to do what we did last night!" He chuckled slightly at the anger in her voice.

"Stefan will never believe that Elena and neither do I."

"What?"

"Oh come on, you wouldn't have even been here last night if it hadn't been for poor tortured Stefan and your guilty conscience." She gasped in anger at his audacity. "Still, at least I got something out of it." He smiled to himself and she saw red.

"And just what was that Damon?" She climbed off of him and backed away from the couch, fighting the urge to rip his throat out. Vampire tempers were legendary and she didn't want to lose control like that. He sat up and laughed.

"I made you want me Elena. I know that you do, but I had to make you want to take me." He seemed very satisfied with himself. She let out a growl of disgust and picked up a glass, shattering it against the wall behind him. He jumped up in surprise.

"Who do you think you are Damon? What do you think you are playing at? Are you trying to get me to hate you, because it's working!" She growled again and realised how much her fangs had grown in her mouth. How curious. I guess rage would bring them out as easily as lust and hunger. She would have to remember that.

"Good." He stated simply, staring her out in her rage. If she didn't leave now she was going to hurt him, so she left slamming the door so hard that it came off the hinges and clattered to the floor inside the hallway. She sped away in her car, terrified that if she didn't get very far away from there that she would turn back and kill him!

Damon stood staring after her for a few moments. He was weak and jumping up like that had drained him severely. He took a shakey step forward and bent down to retrieve last nights' blood bags. He had nearly given in to her. It would have been so easy just to let her drain him and not let her realise how much she had taken, but he hadn't been able to stop himself from blurting out how much he wanted it. He'd given the game away and now she would never let it happen again. He sighed as he tried to lower himself back onto the sofa. As he bit into the bag and began to drink, he closed his eyes and tried to record everything from last night and log it into his memory forever. The feel of her body on top of him, the taste of her lips and tongue and the blinding fever of pleasure as she drank from him, milking him until he lay in her embrace satiated. A single tear ran down his cheek as he drained the second bag. Now all he would have would be the memory of her and hopefully that would be enough.

CHAPTER 7

"Are you ok?" Caroline squeezed her hand across the table. The Grill was quiet today so she and Caroline could talk without worrying about who would listening in or 'dropping by' to prop up the bar. Elena shrugged her shoulders and gave an unconvincing laugh. She didn't know what to think or say.

"What exactly did he say last night?" She enquired, trying to keep Elena focussed by pushing a plate of food out to her. The food didn't look too appealing but Caroline assured her that it helped with blood cravings to eat human food, so she took a chip and popped it into her mouth. She could see Caroline starting to get jittery, waiting for her to answer the question. She was desperate to know what had happened between them.

"He said that he wanted me to drain him dry so that he could die and not have to deal with the fact that I would still chose Stefan." She said it all in one breath. Caroline breathed out a long slow breath and licked her lips. Elena didn't want to look at her expression, she knew how it sounded.

"O-kay." Caroline drawled the word out, unsure what to offer in response. Elena gave a small cruel laugh then and clasped her hands in front of her.

"And then this morning he said that he had planned it, to make me admit that I want him." Elena laughed again, expecting Caroline to make one of the sarcastic comments she was famous for. But she didn't. Caroline didn't react at all. Elena frowned in response to her lack of response.

"What?" Elena asked. Caroline shifted uncomfortably and avoided her eyes. "Caroline?" Elena probed.

"Elena, you have _met_ Damon haven't you?"

"What?" Elena frowned. Caroline rolled her eyes and sighed.

"Look I'm not going to defend him – he's a psychotic ass! But..he loves you more than anything."

"Obviously that's not true Car." Elena contributed.

"And because he loves you.." Caroline continued as if Elena hadn't spoken, "He doesn't want you to feel guilty over this. He's letting you off the hook."

Elena replayed the events of last night and this morning in her head again, for the hundredth time, trying to identify whether what Caroline was suggesting was possible. Was it really bad that she desperately wanted to believe her? The thought that Damon could have been playing her all this time, cut her like the sharpest dagger. If he wasn't what he had always seemed to be she couldn't take that. It hurt too much to think that it had all been a lie because she did love him. She did. She…did…love him. She shot Caroline a frantic look as her heart twisted in her chest. Caroline smiled knowingly and nodded her permission for Elena to leave. She smiled in response and grabbed her sweater, absent mindedly knocking over a chair on her way out of the door.

She ran out of the Grill, ran to her car, ran up to the door of the Salvator house. Running, running in her mind too, trying to reach the goal. She wasn't even sure what the goal was, but she knew she just had to keep running! As she reached for the handle, she stopped in her tracks. What if he didn't want to see her? What if he would just try and scare her or make her angry at him again? She would have to take the chance. She held her breath as she turned the knob and walked into the hallway. The door creaked loudly, probably as she had ripped it off it's delicate, ancient hinges this morning. He was nowhere to be seen. She called out for him, but he never roused. She focussed in on her vampiric hearing and tried to listen for his breathing. She heard a very faint wheezing sound from upstairs so she shot up there with her new found speed and agility. He was in his room, laying face down on his bed sleeping. Strange that he hadn't heard her. His hearing was exemplary and yet here he lay unawares that she had trespassed right into his space. Drunk perhaps, she surmised, looking around at the empty bottle of brandy laying on the floor at the side of the bed.

"Oh Damon." She sighed, bending down to pick the bottle up, when she noticed his breathing. It wasn't right. He seemed to be struggling for breath. She stood up and went to him, turning him by the shoulder to look into his face. His eyes were half closed and he was deathly pale. What had happened? She didn't understand! Then she noticed some empty blood bags in his clenched hand. They were the same ones she'd tried to give him last night, but the blood would have been dead by this morning. He couldn't have drunk dead blood, Stefan said it was poisonous to do so. Why would he do that?! Fear choked her as she started to shake him,

"Damon, Damon can you hear me?!" He gave no response to her efforts to rouse him. She began shouting louder, frantically slapping him to get him to open his eyes. She didn't know what to do. She had taken so much blood from him last night and now he had drunk dead blood too. Stefan would know what to do. She pulled out her phone trying to type in his number when she realised she couldn't call him. If she called Stefan she would have to explain how this had happened and she wasn't quite sure what the hell had happened between them just yet.

"Caroline!" She murmured as she pressed speed dial for Caroline. Hoping Caroline was still at the Grill and could jump over in her car. The phone rang and rang what seemed like forever before Carolines' voice came through.

"Hi this is Caroline, please leave me a message after the beep. Oh, and have a great day!" It was her answer machine. Elena wailed in distress. She was on her own. She shook Damon some more and ran down to retrieve some fresh blood bags from the cellar. She placed his head on her lap as she tried to squeeze the new blood into his mouth. She sighed in relief as the fluid went inside his mouth, but then it started to pour down his chin onto his chest. She gasped in shock. He wasn't swallowing it, how could she make him swallow?

She tried to hold his mouth shut and hold his nose, but as soon as she let go, blood would trickle back out of his mouth again. She cried out in agony as tears started to roll down her face. She couldn't hold lose him, she couldn't! She held him to her breast and leaned down to kiss his mouth. His mouth was cold against hers. She leaned back to hold him to her again when he took in a breath. She leant down to look at his face again and saw his lips open. He was still with her! She leant down and placed a kiss on his lips again and this time his lips responded a little. Then she had an idea. She took a mouthful from the blood bag into her mouth and leant down to kiss him again. It wasn't easy not to swallow her mouthful but she had to at least try this. His lips opened to the kiss once more and when they did she gradually let the blood slip into his mouth. It seemed to work, he swallowed everything she gave him. She continued this process until she had slipped a whole blood bag into him and then she tore open another, then another and then..he opened his eyes.

"Elena?" He croaked. Unsure of his eyes. She nodded and kissed his forehead, still holding him in her lap.

"I'm here."

"What are you doing here?" He seemed to be in pain as he spoke, so she stroked his forehead and grabbed another blood bag from the side table. She tore it open and he took it from her shakily and placed it to his lips.

"I came here to tell you that I love you." She cooed as he drank, closing his eyes as he did so.

"Why?" He looked up at her once he had drained the bag, allowing her to continue to hold him.

"Because you are stupid and drive me crazy." He smiled slightly at that comment. "And because I understand now, that I want to be with you." He didn't say anything. He just remained there in her embrace searching her face almost as though he was trying to read her mind. As if he was trying to detect any deception. It pained her that he could think that she didn't love him. How could he think that after everything that had happened between them?

"That's what you always say at my death bed. Seems to be a pattern with you." He looked away from her, trying to raise himself up on his arms. She wasn't going to take his bate this time, so she held him tighter so he couldn't move away from her. He shot her a quizzical look and she simply took a deep breath.

"Not this time Damon. You're not going to make me get angry and hate you."

"Why would I do that?" He asked sarcastically. He was feeling better then, she thought comically.

"I'm trying to tell you that I'm going to stay with you tonight and tomorrow night and the next until one of us dies or bores of the other."

"What are you talking about Elena?" He frowned and tried to get up again but she pulled him back into her lap like a child who was fussing. She did enjoy the fact that right now she was stronger than he was. She leant down until she was only an inch from his face. He tried to move his head back a little and increase the distance from her. He was sweating again and his pupils had grown large again. He almost seemed fearful.

"I'm going to tell Stefan that I want to be with you. He will understand Damon. He wants me to be happy and I can't ever be happy if we don't try this out." She said as she leaned forward and kissed him softly. He murmured under her and she released him from the kiss.

"I can't." He panted, looking at her with eyes so full and wide that she thought she could see her reflection in them. "Please, don't do this!" he begged her "I'm not good for you. I can't be the man you want." She shook her head in amazement that he was still trying to fight her, even as she declared herself to him.

"I won't change my mind." She cooed. He regained his composure and swiftly sat up and moved from her reach. Placing himself in the corner of the room. It happened so quickly that she hadn't seen it coming. She groaned at the abscence of the warmth of his body on her. She stayed where she was and simply waited for him to say something. She watched as his face flickered with a hundred different emotions in a second. He was conflicted. She prepared herself for the onslaught that was bound to come from him. It was his way of protecting himself. Finally the expression of resolution appeared on his face and she took a breath, ready for him.

CHAPTER 8

He had given it his all. He had ranted, he had threatened. He had even thrown furniture around his room, smashing some of the antiques she knew that he so treasured, but she had relented. She knew he would run out steam eventually and she knew she could wait him out. After what felt like hours he flopped down on the bed beside her exhausted. She finally lay down on the bed beside him, feeling stiff from having sat in this position all during his frenzy. He huffed as she turned to face him. He lay staring at the ceiling ignoring her. Finally she spoke.

"I'm scared too." She whispered. He turned his head slowly to look at her. They stayed like that for a while, just looking at each other unsure of what was supposed to happen now. When he spoke, he cleared his throat a few times as though he couldn't trust his voice to work.

"I meant what I said last night. About dying." He turned to look at the ceiling again. She sighed inwardly. He was so exposed right now, offering his heart up to her knowing that she alone had the power to stamp it out forever, and yet he was still offering her the chance. She had to be 100% sure of what she did next, of how she treated him because this was it. If she failed him now, it would be the end for him and she knew that. Her heart filled with love and pride at his courage and trust. She wasn't going to let that be in vain. She propped herself up on her elbow and leaned over to kiss him. He let her but didn't encourage her. Last night he had let her have control but he still engaged in the kissing. This time he kissed her back but didn't touch her. She knew what she had to do. She pulled him by his shoulder until he rolled on top of her. He seemed unsure, so she stroked his face with her fingertips, tracing around his eyes, lips and cheeks until he sighed and closed his eyes. He had to consent to this too, so she wouldn't rush him. Once she could feel his body relaxing against hers, she guided his head down as she bore him her neck. At first he hesitated, simply pressing his face against the skin of her neck, feeling the warmth and scent of her aroma.

He took a deep breath as she ran her fingers through his hair, curling them like he enjoyed last night and then he bit down. She hadn't expected it to be so painful, it took her by surprise as she felt her intake of breath lift her ribcage to the ceiling. She didn't want him to stop though so she breathed it out slowly and no sooner had she done so than she began to feel the heat within her rising. He drank carefully, with so much grace that it felt like butterfly wings fluttering against her skin. She sighed and smiled at the images that created in her head. He began to caress her tenderly as she started to feel small bursts of pleasure rip through her stomach and groin. It felt like nothing else she had experienced before. She had no idea how different it felt being fed on from being the one feeding. It was a shame that Tyler could feed from Caroline. Her heart started to race, increasing her need for oxygen. She began to pant, almost as though she would climax, but surely she couldn't climax when he wasn't really touching her that much! A wave of ecstacy ran right through her and took her breath away. She felt herself cling to him as she cried out. She imagined this must be what heroin felt like, like a strong hit on your body that transports you away from your senses. Another quickly followed, leaving her trying to catch her breath. She felt drugged and unbelievably relaxed. Another wave started to build and she didn't think she could take another one so soon when he parted her legs beneath him and slid himself inside of her. The sensation of his flesh inside of her knocked her over the edge and she screamed his name as the wave hit her like a tsunami.

She came back to her body when she heard him call her name breathlessly. She opened her eyes and looked up at him happily.

"Are you ok?" He asked. She nodded smiling and he bent down and kissed her mouth. The contact with his lips was wonderful, so different from the feeling of him drinking from her but so smooth and tactile. Then he began to move, rocking them gently. She had forgotten that he was inside of her and so she gasped at the movement. She had always wondered what it would be like with Damon. He had had so many conquests, he was the Don Juan of the vampire world and she had only ever slept with Stefan. She had always worried that if they ever did sleep together she would be so clueless that he would tire of her, but right now all she could feel from him was love and utter devotion. They moved together united and whole, kissing each other until they had to stop to breathe and then she began to feel her insides contract again, except this time he could feel it too. He panted her name as he moved within her, placing his hands above her head for support as he slid deeper into her. She cried out as he did so, nearly climaxing right then. Then he leant his head down to her throat again and drew a large mouthful from her. It completely ended her wits and she bucked so high she thought she would fall from the bed..and then there was darkness.


	2. Chapter 9

CHAPTER 9

The sound of his breathing and the rise and fall of his chest awoke her. This time she knew it was Damon. His smell was impossible to confuse. She smiled against the skin of his chest, flexing all of her muscles like a cat stretching. She could still taste him in her mouth, feel his essence flowing through her body. She couldn't believe that she hadn't known that it could be like this. By his breathing she could tell that he was still asleep. Good. She wanted to lie here with him a little longer, undisturbed by anyone. Chaos seemed to follow her wherever she went and just for once, she wasn't going to rush headlong into chasing it. She could just lie here in Damon's' bed forever and close the door on the rest of the world.

She loved the innocence of him when he slept. There was no fighting, no pretence or bravado – just him. She wondered if he would be able to stay like this, or whether the habit of a couple of hundred years of faking a bad boy act would die hard. She couldn't resist touching his, tracing her fingers in circles around his chest. He had so much muscle and yet his skin was soft against her fingertips, like cashmere. She had seen him naked before but she'd never allowed herself to really have a look at him in that way. Now that he was asleep, she couldn't contain herself, her excitement. She had no idea how they had both managed to end up naked as he drank from her. He really did have skills. She slid her palm down over his abdomen, feeling the delicate line of hair there and realised that he was stirring. Probably best to leave exploring his body to a time when he gave her permission anyway. He yawned beneath her and she lifted her head to look at him.

"Hi there." She said smiling. This wake-up was not going to be the same as yesterday. She was going to make sure that this played out as it should without argument from him, so instead of waiting for him to reply she leaned in and captured his lips in a passionate kissed. He seemed caught off guard as she did so but kissed her back with equal passion. Perhaps if she kept kissing him all day, she could stop him for saying anything stupid or self destructive. Maybe that could be her plan.

He rolled her onto her back so that he was in control of the kiss and then stopped for a breath, looking down at her, his hair falling in front of his eyes in such a sultry manner that she began to feel her loins stir again.

"How do you feel?" He asked.

"I feel…" she wasn't sure how to describe the wonder of how she felt right now, "…amazing." As she said the word she couldn't help bursting into a small giggle at how under-rated that statement was. He smiled too, albeit with a slightly amazed expression on his face before he laughed too. Her emotions really were heightened as she became aware of tears sliding out of the corners of her eyes. Tears of joy for a change. He traced them with his thumb and then put his thumb into his mouth. That got her undivided attention and her laughter suddenly became overshadowed by her libido. Caroline had warned her that her libido would be in full swing once she had transitioned, but she hadn't realised just how intense it would feel to the rest of her body. She had never really had that much of a libido before, but then, she had never experienced sex with Damon. Sex with Damon was definitely the stuff of additions. She tilted her pelvis up into him, inviting him. He kissed her with more force this time and she bucked up into him again, eliciting a low growl from his throat. He moved down onto her breast and kissed along her collarbone. She raised her chest up towards his mouth, desperate for some contact there and he obliged, taking one of her nipples into his mouth and circling his tongue. She gasped. How did he manage to hit every nerve all at the same time? She marvelled at his ability to multitask right now as he gently stroked the inside of her thigh. She couldn't separate one sensation from the other, she was in such heat. Sex as a human was good, but never felt as consuming as this. His hands moved around her body as though trying to memorize it and his tongue was making her insane. She wanted him inside of her again, wanted to feel him without the distractions caused by the blood sharing.

"Damon..." She panted, trying to lift his head from her breasts. He relented there for another moment, stroking his fingertips down her side making her squirm under him before he raised his head and kissed her. She reached her arm down and took him in her hand, he rushed into her touch. She stroked him firmly and he choked against her lips. He lifted his mouth from hers and whispered in her ear, sending goose bumps down her neck.

"I love you."

"I love you too." She sighed and he laid his head against her neck. She thought he might bite again so she said "Not this time." He raised his head to look at her, his eyes searching her face. She smiled at him and explained "I want to feel you, just you." He broke into the biggest smile she had ever seen, true happiness and then he grabbed her hands away from him and pinned them on either side of her head. She gasped in surprise and delight and looked up into his enormous twinkling eyes.

"Geronimo." He said winking at her and entered her in one movement.


	3. Chapter 10

CHAPTER 10

He was good, he was better than good, he was magnificent! She couldn't believe how far he could get inside of her, she thought for sure that her body would just break from under him. They had been making love for hours now and she still hadn't done any of the work. She wondered where his stamina was coming from and how much longer he could keep going. He was showing off now, she chuckled as he paused for breath and tilted his head back. He had her legs over his shoulders and he kissed the inside of her knee as her rested for a moment.

"You don't have to prove anything to me you know." She managed to say in between panting and smiling. Her whole body was covered in sweat from their activities and she was sure that she was going to ache tomorrow. He laughed and laid his head against her knee.

"I'm only just getting started." He smirked and fluttered those long eyelashes at her seductively. She laughed again and grabbed a pillow from behind her, tossing it his way, catching him in the face. He gasped not expecting it and growled playfully, thrusting into her again with more determination. She moaned but raised herself up into a semi-sitting position.

"Not that I'm complaining oh, sex god of Mystic Falls..."

"Only Mystic Falls?" He jested smirking at her again.

"..but I think we need to eat and get out of this room for a few hours before you kill me."

"You're already dead." He winked.

"I'm sure that wouldn't stop you from trying." She giggled and he nodded in submission. He regretfully released her from his embrace and flopped down face first next to her. He would never admit that he was tired, but she could tell that he was trying to impress her and was exhausted. She had never had some many orgasms in one experience and she wondered how he could possibly beat today anyway, but she knew he would inevitably try, so they should feed and get some rest for a while. She stroked his back lovingly and realised that he was snoring ever so quietly. She smiled happily to herself. It had been a perfect day, more perfect that she could have imagined. Her stomach rumbled and she sat up looking for her clothes. They were strewn everywhere around the room, mixed in with all of the furniture he had smashed and scattered. What a mess the room was. She decided to have a shower before tackling any of the tidying up and tiptoed into his bathroom. He had the best power shower on the planet. She had actually sneaked in here a few times when he hadn't been in, to use this glorious shower. Of course she hadn't told Stefan that, that would have seemed weird but she had a soft spot for the cleansing of a power shower.

The whole bathroom smelled of Damon. She used his soap and shampoo, pleased that she would smell of him. God, her human sentimentality was definitely more profound now that she was a vampire. She assumed he would wake to the sound of the water running but he didn't appear so she took her time, washing her long mane, grateful that she wouldn't have to shave her legs anymore and then brushing her teeth with an extra toothbrush she had found in the back of his cabinet. When she felt re-energized she ventured out into the room to find her clothes. Damon was nowhere to be seen. She shrugged, assuming he had gone to get some blood from the cellar and started getting dressed. Damon had obviously been cleaning when she was in the shower as all the smashed furniture was gone and her clothes had been placed neatly on the end of the bed. She smiled to herself, marvelling in his consideration. Things would be wonderful with him, she was sure of it. She had never felt so sure of her decision than she did right now. She was humming happily to herself when she heard raised voices from the foyer. She quickly descended the stairs wondering what the commotion was.

Stefan was home.


	4. Chapter 11

CHAPTER 11

"Stefan." She gasped in surprise. He and Damon were staring at each other viciously, in a stance that looked extremely confrontational. Why was Stefan here? How long had he been here? Could he have heard everything? She swallowed reflexively, feeling her stomach churn in partial embarrassment, fear and guilt. She didn't know what to do. She stood there pinned to the spot, unable to move. The silence was deafening. Finally Damon broke the tension, much to her relief, as he moved to the Brandy table and poured out three glasses of brandy. Stefan merely watched him, shooting an occasional glance up at Elena who was still rooted to the stairs.

"Are you both going to stand there all night?" Damon quipped, sitting down in the arm chair relaxed. How could he always manage to look nonchalant when there was chaos in his presence? He looked up to where she was standing and raised his eyebrows at her. She wanted to run the hell out of there. She wasn't ready to have this conversation yet. Couldn't she ever just have one day to process everything that was going on in her crazy, TV show-like life? Damon continued to look at her, waiting for her to respond and when she didn't he looked away and smirked. Now she had done it, she could already feel him closing up his barrier again. She couldn't let him do that after everything that they had shared in the past 48 hours, so she propelled herself forward down the remaining stairs and approached the glass on the table. She was going to need it. Stefan let her pass by him without saying a word and waited until she had taken a seat on the sofa before he grabbed his glass too. He remained standing before them, sullenly.

Elena took a big gulp of the Brandy, surprised to find that she was actually starting to get used to the strong taste of it. Damon chuckled in response to her gulping it down and she looked over at him, blushing slightly. Maybe he wasn't gone from her yet. Stefan cleared his voice, bringing her back to the situation at hand.

"Caroline called me." Stefan said. Elena didn't understand for a moment so she raised her eyebrows in a Damon-like fashion. God she was already starting to mimic him.

"She missed a call from you and she's not been able to get through to either of you for a couple of days. She thought something might be wrong." He explained looking down into his untouched glass.

Elena and Damon looked at each other. It had been a couple of days since she had left Caroline?! How could that be? How could all that time have passed without her noticing? She silently communicated this confusion to Damon via her expression and he simply winked at her. There was no end to how he could infuriate her at times. Obviously she had been indisposed for longer than she had realised and they hadn't heard their phones. No wonder Caroline had called Stefan. She had probably thought they had killed each other, however there was always the chance with Caroline that she had just gone insane not knowing. Elena sighed, dropping her head slightly embarrassed.

"Sorry, we didn't hear our phones." As soon as she said 'we' she realised her mistake and she flinched slightly at the look coming from Damon which was now zeroed in on her. His face was like stone, no expression or warmth there. It frightened her and she took a sharp breath.

"So I see." Stefan commented matter of factly.

"Oh come on!" Damon teased, seeming bored of the conversation. Stefan shot him a look of pure aggression, which earned him a growl from Damon. She suddenly wished that she hadn't placed herself in between the two of them. The aggression emanating from both of them was causing her to feel nauseous. She watched with her heart in her mouth as they both blurred in front of her, moving at each other so fast that she didn't realised what had happened until she heard them crash into the wall. They were snapping their teeth at each other and wrestling more violently than she had seen them do before. They were playing tonight.

She stood up shouting at them both to calm down, but they ignored her as though they had forgotten she was even there. Furniture rattled around the floor as they viciously beat each other, drawing blood and shouts of pain from one another. They were both too strong, they would kill each other if she didn't do something. She waited for her opportunity and dived in between them to stop this madness, but she was too quick to do so and before she knew it something hit her hard in her chest and she flew backwards into the fireplace, smashing her head painfully. Lightning flashed through her head as she caught her breath. Pained escalated through her into her jaw as she realised that she had knocked some teeth out. She felt blood fill her mouth and she spat it out into her hand, to reveal some of her teeth. She stared down horrified. She was so distracted looking at her teeth she was only roused from her trauma by Stefan's' scream.

"Look what you've done to her!" Damon roared as he pushed the shard of wood further into Stefan's' chest. Stefan was strong but Damon had him pinned to the wall, staring at him with eyes she didn't recognise at all. She came to in time to stop Damon from doing anything more rash.

"Damon stop! You'll kill him!" She couldn't let this happen, not to Stefan. Damon turned looking at her like a wild animal, all blood lust and teeth. He squinted at her, as if unsure of whom she was. She stood up carefully, feeling dizzy from the blow to her head.

"Please..." She begged, tears running down her face "Don't hurt him."

He blinked and seemed to come back to reality. He looked at Stefan, who was trying desperately to hold the shard piercing his chest back. Damon took a step back and released Stefan from his hold, letting Stefan slump to the floor in agony gripping his chest. Elena moved over slowly and carefully knelt to check on Stefan. Damon didn't move, he just watched her. Stefan groaned in pain coughing blood as she checked the wound.

"I'm sorry Stefan." She whispered to him. She hadn't wanted this to happen. She had hoped they would have more time to talk about how they were going to deal with this. She turned around to Damon to ask him to help her lifting Stefan, but he was gone.


	5. Chapter 12

CHAPTER 12

"Damon please answer your phone..." Elena couldn't curb the tears while she left her tenth message on his answer machine. "..I need you, please ..." She had started out strong, leaving the first few messages asking him to come back and help her but by the fifth unanswered call she was becoming more desperate. This wasn't about needing help with Stefan anymore. Stefan had taken himself up to his room to recover without saying a word to her. Once she had pulled the remains of the wood from his chest, he avoided any physical contact with her. So, here she sat in her car outside, desperate to feel some sense of normality. She couldn't stay in the house knowing Stefan was there seething and she couldn't go home either because Jer would demand to know what was wrong and where she had been for the last two days. Normally she would go to Caroline but she was the last person Elena wanted to see right now. If she hadn't called Stefan this would never have happened.

Her last resort was to drive around and see if she could find Damon but she was scared of how he would react. He had left for a reason and lets' face it, Damon wasn't one for company when he was on a downward spiral. She couldn't imagine what he was thinking, but she knew that it was imperative that she find him and tell him that she hadn't changed her mind about them being together. She loved Stefan but when they fighting, it was Damon she was concerned for. She knew that if he'd killed Stefan he would never forgive himself and Stefan didn't deserve to be hurt over her lack of appropriate actions. She kept replaying the events of the last few days and kept wishing that she'd at least sent Caroline a text! Or perhaps, they shouldn't have spent an entire 2 days making furious love as if it was going out of fashion and taken the time to talk about what they would do! Still, those last 2 days had been the most wonderful of her life…they couldn't be the last time. She had to fix this, but where could he possibly be? She slammed her hand on the steering wheel and nearly put her hand right through it. Better to remember how strong she was now and try and take a few breaths. She knew Damon's mind, better than anyone. She got that now. She had always understood his mind, even more than Stefan did, all in the short time she had known him.

He would want to go somewhere he could say his thoughts aloud without being irritated by people trying to help him. So somewhere in the woods then probably, but it wouldn't be just anywhere, it'd be somewhere that meant something to him. Elena turned her key in the ignition and sped off, spraying gravel as she left, heading for Rick's grave. She didn't drive very far before she saw his car parked along the side of the road. She began to hyperventilate. What was she going to say first? Her hands shook and she opened her car door and closed it silently behind her, as though she was scared of alerting him to her presence in case he took off. Perhaps that was exactly what she was afraid of. She ran her hands along the side of his car as she passed it, desperate to feel some physical connection to him as she scanned the woods with her new sight. She could see no sign of him. She started walking into the woods, holding her breath when she heard the slightest sound lest it be him. Strange to feel like prey when you are actually a hunter, but then everyone is prey to the other when the heart is concerned really. The sun was setting but her eyes still picked up every branch, leaf and stone in her way to the graveyard. Her hopes of coming upon him there were dashed when she saw an empty bottle placed on Rick's grave but no Damon. She ran up to the headstone, picking up the bottle. It was still warm from being held, so he had been here recently. She called out to him, but the only response she got was from the animals scurrying away nearby. Animals knew a predator coming when they heard one. She held the bottle to her chest, cradling it, as though by doing so she was touching him and sat down on the ground. Maybe he would come back if she waited here, but then why had he left his car?

"He needed to let off some steam I wager." The voice behind her made her jump. How had she not heard anyone approaching? She was going to have to learn to focus on things like that if she was going to act like a vampire. She didn't need to turn around to know who the intruder into her thoughts was, she knew that voice like the back of her hand.

"What are you doing here Katherine?" Elena grumbled, holding the bottle tight to her chest again.

"Lets' just say I was bored and I love a good drama." Katherine casually traced Ricks' name on the headstone as she came around in front of Elena. Elena instantly took offense to her touching the stone. Rick was gone and the stone wasn't him, but she still didn't want to have Katherine's energy all over it. It felt disrespectful. Katherine smirked at her and sighed shaking her head as though she were talking to a child.

"Elena, Elena…well you made a bit of a mess here didn't you?" Elena growled in response which only served to make Katherine more amused. "I heard about your transformation. Welcome to the club!"

"What are you _doing_ here?" Elena bit out, earning a raised eyebrow from her and what Elena thought was a hint of respect in her expression.

"What? You don't think that I keep an eye on my boys? I told all three of you that this was coming and still none of you had the sense to get out of dodge."

"So, what? You're here to gloat about the fact that yet another doppelganger has traded her soul for eternal life and turned the Salvatore brothers against each other again?"

"Your words, not mine." Katherine stated. Elena looked her over, wondering if there was the slightest chance she could catch her off guard with a slap, but she didn't think it was likely. She began to feel exhausted from the grief of today and her adrenaline was wearing out. She squeezed her eyes closed trying to focus when Katherine sat down next to her on the ground. She opened her eyes in surprise. What was Katherine doing?

"So you managed to get inside Damon's bubble? Well done. I've been trying to do that for a while now." Was Katherine seriously having girl talk with her? Elena was so flabbergasted she didn't respond. Katherine smiled the first genuine smile she had ever seen before and began picking roots from the ground with her long slender fingers.

"He used to be so open Elena. He was so pure and loving. He'd have given me anything and he would have done anything I asked him to, to do it, that's why I loved him. Now Stefan on the other hand was pure too but righteous and hopelessly moral. I knew that I would have to compel him to do what I needed, but Damon did so without question because he loved me so fiercely. Being loved with absolute passion and devotion from one and simple, unadulterated adoration from the other was…intoxicating. But, you already know that don't you?" She turned to Elena who was listening intently. Then Katherine did something that Elena could never have predicted in a million lifetimes – she put her arm around Elena. Elena froze, unsure of how to react.

"I've told you before that it's ok to love them both. In fact it's impossible not to! You just have to make sure that your choice is clear and carved in stone. They will both fight over you until they day they draw their last breath, but you can't fight with yourself until then."

"Why are you telling me this?" Elena turned to look at her, marvelling in the friendly way Katherine had draped her arm around her shoulders as though she had done it a thousand times.

"Because I've been there and I don't want to see one of them dead."

Elena huffed in disbelief.

"I love them as much as I did the day I made them Elena." Elena detached herself from Katherine and stood up, placing Damon's bottle back down where he had placed it on the headstone.

"So, if you love them that much, tell me where Damon went so I can fix this."

"Damon? Interesting choice. I thought for sure you'd choose Stefan." Elena didn't answer. She didn't have to justify her choice to Katherine of all people. Katherine studied her, looking for any hesitation in Elena resolve, but Elena wouldn't give her that. She wanted Damon. "You'll never be able to _fix _this Elena. It's done, but you can make the decision crystal clear."

"Are you going to help me or are you just going to keep talking?" Katherine laughed at her attempt to intimidate answers from her and Elena felt herself blush.

"I don't know where he went exactly, I'm not his keeper. Besides if he saw me following, he'd think I was you and I think you are the last person he wants to see."

"So what was the point of our conversation then?"

Katherine stood up brushing herself off and looked at Elena intently. "I just wanted to let you know how much I still know and love them Elena. That I understand what's been happening here all too well and I wanted to warn you." She leaned in towards Elena threateningly. Elena wondered if she could take on such a scary expression in future. It could be useful. She felt her skin prickle at the intensity.

"Warn me about what?" Elena didn't know whether she wanted the answer. Katherine pulled back again and her expression became friendly once more as though it had never changed. This girl was a bi-polar lunatic, Elena thought.

"Not to take too long in clearing this situation up. I don't want to lose either of them and if something happens to one or both them because of you, I will find you." Her words held sufficient meaning in their delivery, even if her expression and friendly tone didn't. Elena got the message quickly. Katherine turned and began walking away. She shouted just before Elena lost sight of her within the edge of the woods, "You've got one warning."

Elena shivered and held herself for a few minutes, taking everything in. Now she had a pissed off, injured Stefan at home, a scary jealous ex lover who happened to be her identical twin vampire ancestor and an angry drunk Damon roaming the streets of Mystic Falls. Just a regular day in her life then…


	6. Chapter 13

CHAPTER 13

Elena sat in her car again, drumming her fingers on the steering wheel. What should be her next move? She had to think about this logically and not let her heightened emotions blur the picture. Katherine had made it clear that if anything happened to Stefan or Damon, that she would hold Elena responsible and she didn't even want to think about what that meant. Still, if anything happened to either of them, then she would probably welcome Katherine's vengeance because what would she have left? Jeremy. She would still have Jeremy. She still hadn't called him, he must be out of his mind with worry. She fished around in her bag looking for her cell when she realised that it was still in Damon's bedroom somewhere. She really didn't want to go back there right now, but she didn't think she could fend off Jeremy's inquisitiveness when it would come to explaining what she had been doing for days, out of touch with the world.

Perhaps going back was the best thing to do, regardless of how much she felt like vomiting at the thought and Damon would come home eventually. Right?

She turned her ignition and began the nerve wracking drive back to the Salvatore house, watching Damon's abandoned car descend into the distance in her rear view mirror sadly. She could do this. She could do this for him, for them.

The house seemed to loom, looking like a haunted house as she pulled up in the drive. It made her shiver. It almost felt like the house was in mourning for what had transpired here earlier, but that was ridiculous. She didn't know whether she shock knock, I mean Stefan was angrier than she had ever seen him and this was his house despite the fact that it was Damon's too. She hesitated, getting her courage up and knocked as she entered as a compromise. There was no one around. This house was so darn big, it was annoying when you needed to find someone urgently. She decided to go and retrieve her phone from Damon's bedroom, unconsciously hoping that she might be able to sneak back out and not have to face Stefan after all, like a coward. She crept up the stairs and entered the bedroom. Everything was as it had been earlier. The smell of Damon was overwhelming and it brought a lump to her throat to think on how happy she had been in this room just a few hours ago. She wished that she could close the door and have it all come back again and forget that yet again her crummy life had interceded. The bed was still a pile of sheets and pillows and she closed her eyes imagining that when she opened them, Damon might be under them, just as she had left him when she got up to shower this morning. The cold truth was apparent in the lack of his physical presence here and she had to face the possibility that she might never have this with him again. She knew she had to at least try and prepare herself for that outcome.

She opened her eyes and sighed, beginning to search under the bed for her cell. She found it down the back of the headboard. It must have been knocked off the bed during their '_activities_'. She popped it into her pocket as she stood up, turning around to exit the room when she walked right into Stefan. She jumped back in surprise. So much for being able to make a clean get away. He seemed to have a calmer demeanour than earlier but he still didn't look like Stefan. She struggled to form a sentence.

"Hey, I...How, how are you feeling?" She spluttered embarrassed at her lack of communication skills right now. He pursed his lips and lowered his head.

"You made a decision then? About Damon?" He didn't lift his head, probably wanting to avoid looking into her eyes.

"Yes." She said, not sure of what to say in follow up. She started to wring her hands nervously, trying to think of how to explain. "Stefan, I…I don't know what to say."

He lifted his head and looked into her eyes. He looked so sad, devastated. He knew, she didn't need to tell him any nitty gritty details. Then she remembered Katherine's warning. Stefan now knew that she wanted Damon, but she still needed to say it to him. Set it in stone.

"I didn't know what I felt for him Stefan, I truly didn't. I love you both so much, you are both so important to me, but…"

"But he's the one you want to be with right now." He finished her sentence for her.

"He understands me..."

"And I don't?!" His voice was a little sharper this time, catching her off guard, but she was determined to continue.

"Not all the time and that's not your fault." He turned away and placed his hands on the wall, pressing his forehead to the cool concrete.

"I can't be fair to you and tell you that you are the one, if I still have any doubts. I will have doubts if I don't at least give it a shot with him. I have to know if I'm making the right choice and I won't know unless I try." She let him have the distance he needed from her but it was difficult not to comfort him. She could tell by his posture that he was in pain and she longed to soothe him. He began shaking his head.

"I did this. I forced you into his arms." He sobbed slightly.

"You didn't force me. It was my choice." She was kind of getting tired of everyone taking responsibility for her actions. She was capable of making her own choices. She could have stopped what happened with Damon if she'd chosen to, but she didn't because she wanted him.

"What have I done?" He whispered more to himself than her. Now she approached him and gently touched his shoulder tenderly.

"You let me make my own decision and I will always love you for that Stefan. I know that it doesn't help how you feel right now but never forget that. _I _will never forget it." He turned to her, gathering his composure again and giving her a small watery smile.

"I guess that'll have to be enough for me...for now."

He embraced her then, holding her tight and smelling her hair. She held him, smoothing his t-shirt over his back. Biting back tears for his loss, for her loss, for Damon's loss because she knew, she could feel it. Stefan wasn't going to stick around to watch. He would always care for her and he would come back in a heartbeat if she changed her mind, but for now he would respect her wishes and leave them to figure it out. She truly loved him and she would miss him terribly.

After a few minutes, they parted and he led her back down the stairs into the foyer. She glanced at the clock. It was 9pm. She had to call Jer and Caroline and then resume the search for Damon. She turned to Stefan smiling, grateful for his grace and love and then she left.


	7. Chapter 14

CHAPTER 14

"Oh my god Elena, I'm so sorry! I just thought something crazy might have happened." Caroline said nervously through the line. She knew she had messed up.

"What did you think was going to happen Car?" Elena was madder than she thought, even though she knew it wasn't Caroline's fault. She had dug her own grave, figuratively speaking.

"I'm sorry." Caroline said quietly, obviously upset. Elena sighed feeling guilty.

"I just…need to find Damon Car. Have you seen him?"

"No, Tyler and I have been in all day. Do you want me to come help you look for him?"

"No. I don't know what kind of mental state he'll be in, so probably best if you're not there."

"Ok, well let me know if you change your mind. I'm so sorry Elena."

"I know. I will see you later...oh and Car?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you please just keep a lid on this until I can figure out what's happening? Don't…tell anyone what's happened." Elena bit her lip, sure that Caroline would try her best, but her friend wasn't the greatest person in the world at keeping secrets.

"Of course I will."

"Thanks." Elena clicked off her phone. Now she had to think of what to tell Jeremy. He had left 10 voicemail messages and 5 texts. She wondered why he hadn't actually turned up at the Salvatore house in the end. That's what she would have done had he been missing for two days. Then again, maybe he had and they just hadn't heard him.

Jeremy wasn't a big Damon fan and she wasn't sure how he would react to news that she and Damon were together. If they _were_ going to be together after this, she pondered. She quickly dialled in the number and Jeremy answered.

"Hey Jer, it's me." She tried to sound as casual as she could in order not to panic him.

"Elena what the hell? Are you ok, where have you been?!" She took a deep breath and prepared to lie to her baby brother who loved her and worried for her constantly. Guilt loomed in her chest before she even spoke in response. It wasn't fair to do this to Jeremy, he was all she had left of her family and she shouldn't deceive him, but he wouldn't understand her decision.

"I'm ok, I'm so sorry I didn't call Jer! I…" she began when he interrupted.

"Stefan called asking me if you were there and when I called Caroline she and Tyler said they hadn't seen you in a couple of days either. I was out of my mind Elena." He was very peeved. He barely took a breath as he ranted. Wasn't she supposed to be the grown-up big sister here and why did everyone insist on repeating her name to her all the time? She knew what her name was already!

"I'm sorry, I'm just having trouble adjusting. I… I needed some time alone to figure some things out." Okay in the strictest sense that wasn't a complete lie. Some people would say that time alone and time with Damon was the same thing. People just didn't get how much there was to him and he wouldn't let them near enough to be in the position to.

Jeremy exhaled defeated. He still didn't know how to talk to her about her new condition. It was a quick get out of jail free card for her as she knew he wouldn't want the specifics. "I take it Damon went with you." He asked.

"What? Why would you assume that?" Yep, there was the overwhelming guilt back again. She clutched her phone, accidently almost crushing it in her hands. She'd be glad when she finally got to grips with her new senses and strength. At the moment she felt as though she was flying blind.

"I saw him at the Grill. He was in a pretty crappy mood. I guessed you guys had had a fall out or something since Stefan wasn't with you."

Crap. How the hell was she supposed to recover from this? She didn't think she could make up a completely believable lie for Jeremy. She sucked at lying and he knew that. When they had been kids, he had tortured her about her inability to conceal anything from their parents. Life as a vampire was going to be pretty short lived if she didn't remedy that pretty quickly.

"You could say that." She squeaked slightly, hoping he didn't venture any further on the topic. Before he had a chance to, she cut in again "When did you see him?"

"About an hour ago". He was drinking like he usually does when he's sulky about something." Elena smiled. Apparently she wasn't the only one who could read Damon a little. Must have been the Gilbert-gene skill for observation.

"Great. Ok I will head down and make sure he doesn't cause any trouble. Thanks Jer and I promise I won't ever vanish for a couple of days again without calling you first."

"You'd better not." He was serious but his voice hinted at humour so she relaxed finally.

"Bye." She finally let her shoulders drop, not realising that she had been holding them up to her chin practically. Okay, Damon was probably still at the Grill, so she'd head there. Maybe he had been there the whole time since leaving Ricks' grave side. If he had that had been hours ago, so she may have to deal with an extremely irritable drunk whom she may have to half carry home. She felt like she had done nothing but drive backwards and forwards today. She stretched out her neck, hearing it crack on both sides. It was show time.

The drive down happened in a blink. Strange how a place she had known all of her life could seem so alien with him inside. She stepped inside, hoping that Matt was on shift tonight. He was such a calming influence, maybe if he was there he would make her feel more confident. Drunk Damon generally meant angry self destruct Damon and she was going to have to be persistent with him again. She wondered why he made everything so difficult for himself all the time. Was she going to have to keep bringing him back every time he got paranoid about her feelings for him? If she thinks this was going to be the case, was it really something she wanted? She pursed her lips, scanning the room for him. He was nowhere to be seen. The bar was relatively empty, but he had been there. The evidence of his excessive drinking habits lay stacked around where he usually sat, empty and numerous. She detected a slight scent of him too. She walked down to the bar with the intention of asking if anyone had seen him leave and when, when Matt appeared with a shocked look on his face.

"Elena?"

"What is it Matt, are you ok?" She reached for him. He continued to stare at her looking quite uncomfortable. He blushed then and looked around her shoulder.

"I thought...I thought you and Damon were..." He looked around her shoulder again nervously. What was he looking at? Then the penny dropped. Hurriedly she moved towards the bathroom, the scent of him growing stronger as she approached, desperate not to hear what her new senses were picking up as she did. She opened the door to the bathroom where only a few days prior, Damon had first shared his blood with her and happened upon an entirely different scene with Katherine being energetically pressed up against the wall, smiling at her.


	8. Chapter 15

CHAPTER 15

"Ooops!" Katherine giggled, still holding onto Damon who was trying to catch his breath against her neck. Damon turned his head in surprise, looking flushed and spent. His eyes practically fell out of his head when he realised Elena was standing their aghast, but instead of trying to compose himself, he turned his head back to Katherine and mumbled sarcastically.

"Great!"

He was still holding Katherine up against the wall, her legs around his waist. Elena closed the door again and stood in a daze staring at the wood of the partition between the man she loved and her insane lookalike having a passionate moment. Matt was obviously still behind her as she felt his hand rest on her shoulder. He must have been talking but all she could hear was strange muffled sounds and a ringing in her ears. She had to get away from here! She ran outside and promptly vomited into the shrubbery at the side of the car park. Thankfully, there wasn't too much blood to make a mess as she hadn't fed for a couple of days, other than on Damon. Despite this, she continued to wretch for several minutes anyway with no relief. It was almost as though her body wanted to expel everything of Damon. She collapsed onto her knees and tried to breathe. She hated being sick. It made her miss her mom and was a constant reminder that the comfort you could only get from your mom looking after you and soothing you when you were sick was no longer available to her anymore. Stefan was good at comforting her sometimes but now she didn't have him either.

What was going on? How could he… She couldn't even complete the thought. She pressed her fingers in her eyes trying not to see the images that were passing through her mind. Trying to forget what she had seen Damon doing to her evil counterpart just hours after they had declared themselves. They had declared themselves to each other hadn't they? She began to rewind their last few days in her mind, trying to remember if he had actually vowed himself to her but it was a foggy mess in her head and she couldn't focus. Had it just been all on her side? Had she made a huge mistake thinking that he was hers now? Had she made the wrong choice?

She stood up shakily, wiping her mouth on the sleeve of her jacket. She felt weak and exhausted. She needed Matt. She hated the thought of asking him to help with her needs, but she was terrified of what she might do right now if she tried to feed from an unwilling participant. As though he was an angel of mercy, Matt appeared from the side exit looking for her. He looked so worried. He rushed to her and held her in his arms, she must have looked worse than she thought. He began stroking her hair and saying soothing words to her. He had seen the whole thing inside so he must have known by her reaction that there was something going on between her and Damon.

"Matt I need you..." She whispered pleading. He leant back from her and held her chin to look into her eyes.

"Anytime Elena...you saved my life. You don't need to ask twice." He smiled a concerned but loving smile and she let out the breath she had been holding. Wonderful, sweet Matt, what would she do without him? He led her around to his truck and they got inside. He discretely passed over his wrist to her and she bit down. He winced but held his position. He was thankful Elena was pre-occupied bent over him as Damon exited with Katherine. Damon looked around, seemingly noticing that Elena's car was still parked before locking eyes with Matt. Matt gave him the steeliest gaze he could muster. Damon blinked but didn't respond otherwise which was very unlike him. He and Katherine walked off towards the woods arm in arm and disappeared. Elena released Matt's wrist and slumped back into the seat satisfied. Matt reached into the glove compartment and retrieved some gauze and a wrist support. He had thought ahead, now realising that this may become a regular activity now that Elena was a vampire and he wanted to ensure that whenever she needed him, he would be prepared. The fact that he had recently stuffed the glove compartment with bandages, band aids and a surgical stitching kit didn't escape Elena's notice and she looked over at him eyes brimming with emotion. She shook her head in disbelief at the devotion of such a friend and stifled a sob. Matt reached over and put his arm around her neck. She sank into him just like old times. His body seemed to always have an Elena-shaped space for her to lean into ever since they were children.

"What's going on Elena? What was that all about?" He asked in a soothing tone, not wanting to upset her. She sighed sadly and wiped a tear from her cheek.

"Damon being Damon." She retorted.

"I know that I don't really know him that well, but, he seemed even more strange and crazy than usual today."

"How do you mean?" She sat up to face him, realising she could get the low down on what Damon had been up to all day in her absence.

"He seemed a bit unhinged. Normally he completely ignores me and most of the waiting staff, unless they are pouring him drinks that is. But today, he kept trying to start conversations with me about you."

"Me? Like what?" Matt stared out of the windscreen, trying to think of how to phrase what he was trying to say.

"Just dumb stuff really, like what did you want to do when we were kids, what did you always want to do at college…stuff like that. It was weird." Elena pondered slowly wondering what on earth he would have been asking those kind of questions for.

"Then when you…or I guess it wasn't you, came in, it was as though I was a bug under his shoes again." Matt shrugged confused and looked at her expecting some kind of explanation. She shrugged too, feeling just as lost as he was.

"You thought she was me." Elena said gravely. "Did she say she was me? Did he know it was her?" She fired the questions off to him so quickly he laughed in response, despite the seriousness of the conversation.

"I, I don't remember her pretending to be you in terms of my being there. I mean, she's played me before when she was trying to get me to think she was you, but she wasn't interested in me at all. I just thought, maybe you guys had had a fight and you were pre-occupied." He looked down at his shoes when he spoke.

"Hey." She cradled his face in her hands. "I am never too pre-occupied to have time for you Matt." He smiled reassured. Then her stomach dropped again, thinking on what that meant.

"He would have known that it wasn't me. He must have known it was Katherine and he still…" She choked on her words again, forgetting who she was confessing these feelings to.

"Has something happened between you two?" Matt inquired sounding like he was unsure if he wanted to know. She turned to him.

"I can't lie to you Matt. I…I love him." Why did those words hurt so much right now? They were supposed to be the most wonderful words in the world. Matt raised his eyebrows, obviously not wanting to ask the Stefan question. She nodded in response to his unspoken question.

"Stefan is leaving." She stated and then she realised that indeed Stefan was leaving. Shouldn't she go back and have a proper goodbye? He could already be gone and she had no idea when she would see him again. That thought grieved her, but then, did he want to have to say goodbye when he could just skip out of town without any more emotional scenes?

"I knew you had feelings for Damon, I guess I just thought that that was all they were." Matt continued down the thread of conversation, bringing her out of her reverie.

"So did I." She admitted "But now that I have changed I've needed him so much more and he's been there for me every time. I realise now that he always has. Stefan and I aren't the same anymore. Damon understands what I'm going through and what I need." Matt shifted uncomfortably, obviously he wasn't going to rush in and agree that the scary, murderous vampire who loved her may be a better choice than the slightly less murderous and eternally righteous and moral vampire who loved her also. She smiled at him, picking up on his thoughts again.

"A couple of days ago I would have thought the same as you. I would have laughed at the thought that I would want Damon over Stefan, but I realise now that he has always been there. He's always known me better than Stefan. We have always had something that's missing from what Stefan and I have had and…he is the one I want." Matt processed this information intensely, gripping the steering wheel of the truck and looking out to the woods through the windshield.

"Then go to him Elena." He said, turning to look at her again. "If you are really that sure, go to him. Don't let anyone get in the way of that because trust me, you will always regret it if you do." She had never heard him speak to her so earnestly. He hated Damon and yet he was telling her to fight for him. She hugged him tightly and vowed to herself right there in that moment that she would always be there for him, no matter what new evil monster might stroll into town and try to kill them all, she wouldn't be distracted enough not to be there for Matt. Her cell wrung breaking their embrace and she gulped when she saw that it was Stefan. Had he gone already?

"Stefan?" She answered almost surprised.

"I think you need to get back here." Stefan said, sounding slightly more like himself.

"Why what's wrong?" She said panicking as they climbed out of Matt's car. He waved a silent goodbye and headed back into the Grill as she approached her car.

"Damon needs you. Hurry." Then he hung up.


	9. Chapter 16

CHAPTER 16

She drove like a madwoman up to the Salvatore house for what felt like the millionth time today. Stefan hanging up on her like that had her freaking out. What had he meant when he said Damon needed her? Had Katherine done something to him? She didn't even knock this time as she got to the door, throwing it open and rushing into the parlour. She must have looked as wild as she felt judging by the expressions she got from the three of them. Stefan hovered around the fireplace watching her approach. Damon was on the sofa with Katherine draped half over him. Damon looked up in surprise, but Katherine looked at her in indignation.

"Oh, hey Elena." Said Damon casually. She couldn't take her eyes off of him. No one else existed as she zeroed all of her focus in on him. He looked down, not wanting to connect his gaze with hers. She didn't think she could stop looking at him, the vision of him sitting there with Katherine so near him was burning into her eyes. Stefan cleared his throat, bringing her attention back to the room. Damon seemed to visibly slump when she released him from her attention as though it had been her energy that was animating him.

"So Katherine, what brings you back to Mystic Falls?" Stefan said calmly. Katherine loved to talk and Stefan knew it.

"Oh, you know just thought I'd drop by and see how my boys were doing." She smiled back sweetly at Stefan.

"Interesting timing." Stefan commented looking from Damon to Elena. He was so smart, he had figured out what was going on. Elena wished he would clue her in. Katherine laughed glancing back at Elena smugly.

"Well, someone has to keep the balance around here otherwise this crumby little town would explode from all the tension in here!"

"And how do you keep the balance exactly?" Elena spoke before she even realised she had. The words just tumbled from her mouth. Damon didn't look at her but his body tensed at the sound of her voice. Stefan stepped back casually leaning on the mantel. It was as though he was giving her the platform to speak. Katherine raised her eyebrows surprised that Elena had actually spoken. She chuckled.

"Three's a crowd Elena, but then, you knew that already didn't you?" Perhaps it was the way Katherine kept touching Damon, maybe it was the way he didn't stop her or maybe it was just the fresh blood running through her muscles that made her see red. Katherine had always scared her when she was human, but then, she wasn't human anymore was she? Everything in her body went on high alert and she threw herself at Katherine and knocked the two of them onto the floor with a crash before she had made the conscious decision to move. Someone could have staked her right now and she would still have continued to pound Katherine's head off of the floor. Hell had no wrath…

Katherine was inevitably stronger but Elena felt like she could still make her mark on that perfectly smug face of evil. She tore at Katherine's throat even as Katherine broke her arm around her back. Elena didn't even stop to scream, the only sensation she could feel was hatred and then both she and Katherine were being lifted away from each other - both screaming to be let at the other, thrashing and biting like piranhas. Stefan whispered in her ear to calm down and stop, but she couldn't, she had to finish this once and for all with Katherine. Katherine whom had been her supposed confidante earlier that day, but whom had gone and seduced Damon once she had learned of Elena's choice. Venom like no other poured from her but Stefan was too strong. He held her in a cage of his arms so she couldn't move a muscle as he continued to whisper to her. Then he said the only words that made sense to her.

"He doesn't want her."

She caught herself at those words and tried to reel herself in. The struggle to do so was agonising but she began to come back to reality as Katherine continued her thrashing. Elena noticed that Damon was holding Katherine, but not like Stefan was holding her. Stefan wasn't just holding her back, he was protecting her in his arms. Damon on the other hand was simply twisting Katherine in knots to prevent her from getting to Elena. She looked at his face and saw only concern for her there, not concern for Katherine. She began taking slow breaths and retracted her fangs, relaxing against Stefan. Now she began to hurt. She definitely had some broken bones and she noticed vaguely that her head was bleeding too. Thank god for her accelerated healing or she would be in a coma by now thanks to the head traumas she had suffered in the past 24 hours! Stefan held her close, no longer trying to restrain her and she closed her eyes for a moment trying to focus.

"That's enough Katherine!" She heard Damon growl. "Don't ever touch her again." He said the last sentence calmly but with more malice in his voice than she had ever heard before. It made her heart stop. She opened her eyes to see a very flustered and angry Katherine staring him out. They looked like they might maul each other now.

"Why are you here?" Damon was still talking to Katherine. She cracked her neck and brushed herself down looking at him innocently.

"I was bored. I knew you would provide some entertainment for me and I thought I could soothe your heartache." She said smugly. He shook his head incredulously.

"What heartache?" He played the sarcastic card. She looked at him in scorn. She knew his sarcasm card by now, everyone did.

"I thought I'd remind you what it's like to have some real fun and I know you know your way around this body." She winked at him smirking. Her use of the term 'this body' implied she knew that he and Elena had been intimate and she wanted him to know that. He stepped back in disgust. "And of course, I thought I'd help you clear your head of this messy situation you find yourself in." He tensed as though she had slapped him.

"What?" He spat out at her.

"It's come to decision day for real hasn't it boys?" She turned to look at Stefan too. He tensed behind Elena but remained where he was. "Thought maybe I could help."

"Actually you missed decision day. It was yesterday." Stefan glanced down at his watch as he spoke. Was it tomorrow already? Elena felt foggy, contemplating how long she had been up without rest with the constant stress of the day's events. She had never experienced a day like this in her life. Stefan laid a kiss on Elena's head, which Damon watched with interest and he guided Elena down to the sofa. Elena sat back gratefully as she realised just how much pain she was in. She wouldn't let Katherine see it though, she kept her face blank.

"Really, well don't hold out on me! Who's the victor then?" Katherine cruelly looked from one brother to the next. They both looked at each other.

"She's just trying to play with our heads brother." Damon snorted. Stefan looked down at Elena. She looked up at him, unsure of how this would affect him. He had been so devastated when she had told him that she wanted to be with Damon. She didn't want Katherine to tear open those wounds again for her own pleasure.

"As if it could be anyone other than Stefan." Damon mocked, sitting down and crossing his legs. Elena and Stefan both looked at Damon confused. Damon wouldn't make eye contact with either of them. Stefan looked down at her again in confusion and when he saw she was equally shocked, he suddenly burst into a laugh. Elena jumped slightly at the volume of it and stared wide eyed at Stefan. She felt so small looking up at him, he seemed to tower over her from this position.

His laughter seemed to have a similar effect on both Damon and Katherine, who looked over at him surprised by the outburst.

"Is that what you told him Katherine? It must have been an Oscar worthy performance. Shame I missed that." Stefan continued to laugh, but no one else could see the funny side. Damon's face began to grow red and he looked at Katherine. Katherine gave a small laugh but Elena could tell she wasn't prepared for the scene to play out like this. She liked being able to manipulate and control what was going on. She thought she knew them better than they knew themselves but she was wrong.

"Elena wants to be with Damon, Katherine. Before you try and twist it into an ending of your making, understand that they have my blessing." Stefan stepped away from Elena, perhaps finally assured that she was no longer in danger from Katherine. He walked right up to Katherine and smiled at her happily. Katherine didn't know how to react, her mouth gaped. Damon looked like he was having a heart attack in his chair as he paled and looked from one to the other. Damon Salvatore rendered speechless – now that was a first. Elena was watching Damon slowly turn green - was that even possible in vampires? She should say something.

"I told her." She said realising her screaming episode had made her voice a little scratchy. Everyone looked over at her. "I told her that I was trying to find Damon to tell him."

"And you thought that you would help Elena relay that message?" Stefan mocked Katherine.

"Elena needed to know if she was making the right choice." Katherine stated defensively, causing Damon and Stefan to start laughing. She was fuming now. She didn't like not having the upper hand. Elena still didn't understand though.

"What are you talking about?" Elena stood up, tired of feeling like a small child watching her parents arguing above her. Katherine turned to Elena and Stefan and Damon both tensed, ready to grab her should she move to attack Elena again.

"As soon as I told Damon that you had picked Stefan, he believed me Elena and he didn't take much convincing. That tells me he might not be as committed to you as you think." Damon moved to grab Katherine but Stefan grabbed him and steadied him, staring into his eyes. Damon grabbed Stefan's arms in a mirroring gesture but not a violent one.

"This is what you do isn't it? Come back here and use me to mess with their heads because you know you have no power over them anymore and that bothers you. I've always made it so easy for you." Elena contemplated slightly laughing to herself at how manipulated she'd been. Enough was enough. Elena had changed, they had changed and it was time to set it in stone. Katherine had said that Elena had to "make sure her choice was clear and carved in stone" and she would damn well do that right now.

"Never again." Elena stated. Everyone looked at her. Katherine had an intrigued expression on her face. Damon and Stefan looked slightly pained, apprehensive about where Elena was going with this. Elena looked from one to the other before speaking.

"I won't be the pawn in your game with them anymore Katherine. I won't let you use me to hurt them because I love them both...so much." She paused. "I made my decision Damon and that's not going to change no matter what Katherine does or has done." She looked to Damon who look twisted with anxiety. "Stefan respects my decision." She looked to Stefan lovingly as Katherine watched both brothers closely. Stefan and Damon let go of each other and let their arms drop to their sides. Once again Elena was holding all the power over them and for once, she didn't like it.

"Damon, you know how I feel. It's up to you what happens now. I won't force you and I can't keep trying to convince you. If it's too hard for you to let yourself be with me then I will respect that, but it won't change how I feel. I would rather be alone and have neither of you than have this kind of power over you both. It hurts too much." No one knew what to say. Elena smiled forgivingly at both brothers and headed slowly for the door.

"Elena…" Stefan called out unsure of what to do. She turned around and smiled again, looking at Katherine. "And thanks Katherine."

"What for?" Katherine was completely perplexed and irritated.

"For helping me not to become you." Katherine growled under her breath and Elena exhaled feeling liberated as she walked out the door.


	10. Chapter 17

Ok guys, thanks to everyone who has been so supportive of my writing! It's given me confidence to continue so thank you. I am so into this thread that i can't wait in between uploads for your reaction so i have put this up. Second chapter today! Enjoy and please review;-)

CHAPTER 17

Elena slept like the dead, which was, well…accurate she supposed. Her body and mind had been exhausted when she returned home from her confrontation with Katherine and the Salvatore's. It had almost left her feeling as though she were in a dream haze. Climbing the stairs, entering her room, closing the door and breathing the scent of her laundry detergent on her fresh linen sheets had made the whole episode seem like a fading dream. She had virtually collapsed onto her bed and fallen asleep right there on top of the covers. She lay in bed, allowing the events of the night to flip through her memory like an old camera reel. Staying in bed sounded like a great idea to her. Bed was comfort, solace from the outside world. She cuddled into her pillow, unconsciously reaching for her duvet when she realised that she was actually tucked up in it already. Strange. She clearly remembered lying on top of the bed to sleep, too tired to draw the covers back and slip inside. Perhaps she had tangled herself into the bed through the night. Then she spotted her trainers, unlaced and laying neatly at the foot of her closet.

She sat up to look at them. Now she had definitely not taken her shoes off when she lay down last night. She knew it for a fact because her last thought before she fell asleep had been of worry that she might get her duvet dirty if she slept on the bed with them still on. She turned in the bed to look beside her, half expecting Damon to be there. He did have a habit of climbing into bed beside her and watching her sleep, only to scare her half to death when she awoke unsuspecting of his presence but he wasn't there. On the pillow next to her was a red rose. Her mind instantly jumped back to a memory of Damon giving her a red rose at one of the Lockwood parties. Mind you, perhaps she was just being optimistic. For all she knew, the rose could have been a good bye gesture from Stefan.

Stefan.

Elena sighed, feeling her eyes fill with tears of love for him. After everything going so wrong between them and then she and Damon being caught out, Stefan had still saved the day. Despite the pain he must have been feeling, he forgave her for choosing Damon and told her he would always be there when she needed him. Then as if that wasn't gracious enough, he had made sure she had been there to put a stopper in Katherine's plans and had even defended both she and Damon and gave them his blessing. She couldn't help but feel like neither of them deserved Stefan.

She picked up the rose and held it to her cheek closing her eyes. It was so odd to feel so full of love that she could burst like a water balloon when she might not actually have either of them anymore. Stefan wouldn't stay even if Damon didn't want her. She knew him too well. He wouldn't want to stick around on the off chance that she would get over Damon and maybe develop feelings for him again. He had already done enough of that when he was trying to find himself after having turned his humanity off. Truth be told, she wouldn't let him do that to himself. There was a time when she couldn't bear the thought of Stefan leaving her even if it hurt him to stay, but he deserved more than that and if she couldn't give it to him, she would make sure that he knew it was ok to leave.

She honestly didn't know what was going to happen with Damon either. The love she felt for him was so fierce, passionate and completely infectious – a little like him, but he was unpredictable. He might not ever be able to commit to her. She might never be able to convince him that she was his if he would just allow her to be. He was so terrified of letting her in, even though he wanted her so badly. He was at constant war with what he felt and what he wanted. Perhaps the idea of her, was easier than the reality and he might not be able to concede one way or the other. She didn't want that for him either. She had seen him fight with his heart and it never ended well, for him or for anyone around him within 500 miles.

She leant her face onto the pillow next to hers and inhaled deeply. Damon's shampoo lingered there. Once the first tear fell she couldn't control the rest. She buried her head in his scent and cried until her eyes were raw. She wanted him. She wanted to be with him so badly, but she wouldn't force him. She couldn't let herself become one of those girls who couldn't move on, who would run around after a guy backwards and forwards until they hated each other. She was Elena Gilbert and she had the rest of her life to live and love, however long that might be and she was just beginning. The reality of how long she had to do whatever she wanted, to be with whoever she wanted, started to become clearer. Caroline was right. Forever was a long time and time healed all wounds. She had been given the chance to find out what she was made of, what she wanted and who she wanted to be, without a time limit. Being a teenager had been full of the stress of trying to figure out just these things, whilst planning and making the decisions which would shape the rest of her life. Everything had been about getting good grades, surviving her parents death, looking after Jeremy, trying to be a good sister, niece, student, friend, grown-up...all in the few precious years from being a sophomore to becoming a senior.

Everything was different now. Time wasn't the boss of her anymore. She was in control. The more she pondered on these thoughts, the more she managed to bring herself back from the brink of emptiness. She was Elena Gilbert and she could do anything. For the first time in her life she actually believed that. Damon or no Damon, she would survive. She raised herself from the pillow, bringing it with her against her chest, squeezing it to her. She imagined she was hugging Damon to her breast. She had said her peace last night. She would leave him to make his choice now. In the meantime, she had a life to get back to which she had been seriously bad at being involved in lately. She gave the pillow one last squeeze then she laid it where it had rested before. She had gotten some blood on her jeans when she had thrown up at the Grill yesterday and she needed to do some laundry. Of course there was the option of some retail therapy, which sounded much more fun. She needed some girl time, some time with her friends where there was no boy talk, Klaus scheming or traumatic danger ahead. She jumped off the bed and reached for her cell, texting Bonnie and Caroline with lightning speed. Bonnie had a rough time of late so perhaps having some normal human girlie time would be great medicine. For a couple of hours they could all just be friends out shopping and getting manicures.

Caroline texted back like a flash of course. Vampire finger reflexes were useful when planning some social time. Bonnies' text still carried the weight of her sadness but she still agreed to meet up with them. It had been so long since they had done this normal stuff together. Elena jumped into the shower, slightly reluctant to wash off the last smell of Damon from her body. Today was about her and her friends and she didn't want any distractions, so she covered herself in her favourite strawberry shower gel and let herself relax.

Damon opened her closet door and stepped out, closing the door behind him. He had never hidden in here before and he felt slightly amazed at himself for feeling like it had been necessary. He could hear her in the shower, singing to herself softly. He smiled leaning his head back against the closet door, just listening. How did this girl exist? She was an endless marvel to him. He had accepted her love, made love to her telling her he loved her back and then he had screwed it all up again. This was so intense, he wasn't sure whether he could handle it. He hadn't really expected her to love him back enough that she would tell Stefan. Katherine had known all along. He gritted his teeth at the memory of his drunken behaviour with Katherine. How could Elena still want him after that? How could she want someone who could turn around at the drop of a hat and have sex with someone else? The girl must be a masochist. She had been dating a vampire for the last few years so…definitely a masochist then.

He frowned, remembering the way she had held that pillow to herself, sniffing the scent of him from it. It had made his heart break. He could do so much damage to her. He already had done so much damage. He didn't know whether he could be with her. It was what he had wanted since he laid eyes on her for the first time, but she was so beautiful and loving. Could he trust himself with her? The weight of all of his stupidity and recklessness would all fall on her and he wouldn't be able to forgive himself if he ruined her. Stefan had left this morning and said his goodbyes. He'd actually tried to give Damon a pep talk on looking after Elena and her heart. Self-righteous bastard always had to have a say. God he was going to miss that frowning, holier than thou face. It might be 50 years till he seen him again.

The water from the shower was turned off and he heard her begin to exit the bathtub. Time to leave. He took a look around the room one more time, tracing his hand along her dressing table. He should leave her be and let her find someone who could give her happiness with no restriction. He couldn't be selfish and keep her. She had said to him when she thought they were all going to die that because she loved him, she had to let him go. He hadn't understood then, but he did now. He walked over to the window unlatching it and climbed out. He landed with barely a thud and looked up to her window.

He loved her, so he would let her go…


	11. Chapter 18

Hi guys, thank you all so much for following and reviewing. I have enjoyed this journey so much because of you all. I actually laughed when I saw episode 3 the other day as it was so similar to some of the stuff I've written hahaha. Guess that means I've really grasped who the characters are which is exciting. This is a smaller chapter and you are all going to hate me….so I will upload the next part on the same day too. I am winding down now and it'll be sad to end this. Still, we have the rest of the season to go and I'm sure the TVD writers will give us more treats to play with and inspire more fanfiction! Hope you enjoyed this as much as I have ;-)

x

CHAPTER 18

She felt like herself for the first time since she had woken up in the morgue. They had promised each other that there would be no talk of anything supernatural or boy-related and they had stuck to their vows. Bonnie had been solemn at first but Caroline's honest attention to detail when it came to trying on clothes had been the beginning of a spiral into friendly bickering, competition and laughing. They had all laughed. It had felt so alien to them, it had been so long since they had just been three teenage girls. Elena was already worrying about her credit card bill as they had shopped all day and barely sat down during. Caroline had managed not to break the no boy talk rule, despite Elena expecting her too. She had still been a little miffed at Caroline and Caroline knew it, but once they had hugged, it all seemed distant. Caroline was going to be her rock. Her admiration for her bubbly friend knew no bounds. Caroline had gone from being a damaged, self-obsessed, shallow girl to being a strong, confident and independent woman. Elena wanted to bathe in her accomplishment. She never thought she'd want to take a page out of Miss Forbes book, but Caroline had her life under control and Elena began to finally believe that she could too.

The day had been wonderful, just the therapy and distraction that she needed. She had managed only to think about Damon two or three times and she had controlled the urge to text him. She had been tempted to leave her cell at home to ensure that she couldn't text him, but if _he_ called _her_, that was allowed. Still she hadn't been sitting staring at her phone waiting for that to happen. She lugged all of her bags up to her room, ignoring the look of shock and amusement on Jeremy's' face as she did so. She needed new clothes anyway, she told herself. She kicked the door to her room open and gasped as Stefan opened it from the other side surprising her.

"Stefan!" She gasped. He took some of her bags from her and chuckled at how numerous they were.

"I'm so glad you're here. I thought maybe you had left." She stumbled trying to make sense. He sat on the end of her bed and smiled.

"I'm just leaving, I have my car packed and ready. I didn't want to leave without seeing you." He seemed calm and almost cheerful. She wanted to hug him, but wasn't sure if she was allowed to.

"I'm glad you came." She said smiling softly, tucking her hair behind her ear nervously. "Thank you for what you did last night and for…being so amazing." He smiled again, his eyes twinkling slightly.

"No, thank you Elena. Thank you for being honest with me and for wiping the smile off Katherine's' face." They both began laughing in memory of Katherine's gaping mouth.

"Why did you help me? You have every right to hate me right now." She said seriously. He exhaled, looking into her eyes deeply.

"I could never hate you Elena. I thought I could hate you. I thought I could hate both of you and it might hurt less but hate is an infection. It'll ruin you if you let it. Truth is I have never loved anyone like I love you, so I want you to be happy. Damon might be a murderous, sociopath but he is my brother and despite my best efforts, I love him too."

"Where will you go?" She asked sadly.

"Not sure. There's still a few parts of the world I've never travelled to."

"Am I ever going to see you again?" She swallowed a lump in her throat the size of Everest.

"The world is smaller than you'd think and you're going to have plenty of time to discover it." Elena nodded. "Anyway, I better head out." He stood up. Elena's heart jumped into her mouth. She didn't want this to be goodbye. Everything felt like it was ending.

"Will you call? Just to let me know you are ok every now and then." She stepped towards him feeling adrenaline coursing through her. He shrugged.

"I will be fine don't worry. Just live Elena. Be happy. If you need me, I will be around."

"But how will I contact you?"

"Damon always knows how to find me." She nodded again. He suddenly rushed forward and grabbed her in a tight hug. She held on to him as though he would evaporate within her arms. He kissed her hair, stroking the back of her head. "Look after him and don't let him push you away."

She nodded still with her face to his chest. They drew apart slowly and squeezed each other's hands and then he left. He was gone. She could feel her insides buzzing and tearing. Stefan had gone but he had left a mark. She could feel the scar of their love form in her heart knowing that it would never disappear, but it seemed right that she should carry it with her. It was a sign that they had loved and that was nothing to grief over. This scar had formed through love and loss but loss that had been accepted. It was a badge that proved she had loved him and would still love him despite the loss.

She lay back on her bed and felt something prick her. She jumped and plucked up the red rose from this morning. She had forgotten about it entirely. She hadn't noticed the thorns on it earlier and she laughed to herself when she thought of how like a thorny rose Damon was. Beautiful and perfectly shaped but with jagged thorns to catch you when you tried to hold on too tight. She clasped the stem in her hand and watched as the thorns drew blood from her palm. Damon would make her bleed too but she would still hold on tight. She lifted her phone and texted him. She had gone a whole day without contact so it wasn't like she was stalking him.

_I got your rose. Can we talk?_

Beep.

_If you want. Where?_

Beep.

_I can come over if that's ok._

Strange how polite you became when you had had a fight. She sat staring at the screen willing his reply. The butterflies in her stomach were having a field day as she watched a minute tick by on her clock before the beep finally sounded again.

_Sure. See ya._

Okay this was it. It was time to have it all out and decide what they were actually doing. She quickly washed the blood from her palm and looked at herself in the mirror. Ok Elena Gilbert, here we go.


	12. Chapter 19

CHAPTER 19

Damon was standing in the doorway as she approached. His expression was impossible to read as she climbed out. He smiled softly as she walked up to him so she smiled in response. He stepped aside and guided her in. She looked around and noticed the damage to the floorboards caused by her fight with Katherine last night and the broken tile on the mantelpiece where she had hit her head nights before. This room didn't hold great memories for her right now. She began to wish that they had agreed to meet elsewhere. The darkness of the room seemed suffocating all of a sudden. He was lingering behind her as she stopped just inside the door, her feet almost unwilling to allow her to enter the foyer and its negative energy. She swung around the face him and caught the slightest glimpse of pain in his expression which he wiped off no sooner than she had seen it.

"You came to my room last night." She spluttered, not wanting it to sound like an accusation. He smiled in a tight line. "Why didn't you wake me?"

"I thought you needed the sleep." He said simply, his body language conveying that he wanted her to move into the foyer but she was gripped with sudden anxiety about drawing this moment out and so she didn't budge. He frowned in confusion.

"I meant everything I said last night." She said. He took in a deep breath through his nose and stared at her. "I want to be with you, but I won't force you." She awaited a sarcastic retort from him but it never came. He was looking at her so intensely she began to worry that there was something wrong with her face.

"Please say something Damon." She begged stepping closer to him. He backed up a step and she stepped towards him again until he realised that his back was to the door and he was stuck.

"I'm leaving Elena." He said softly with a hint of sadness in his voice. He looked down at the floor. "I told you I don't like living up to anyone expectations of me. I don't want you to get hurt because I can't live up to what you want me to be."

"Exactly what is it you think I want you to be?" Elena had to remain in control of herself. This was no time to let him rumble her. It felt like he'd been pushing the goal posts further and further away for days and she was still trying to run and score the touchdown.

"I'm not him. I'm not ever going to be the selfless hero who runs around helping everyone and trying to better myself. I am who I am. I can't change." He said sternly.

"I don't want you to be him. If I wanted that I would be _with_ him. I've always known who you are." He began shaking his head and trying to move her backwards towards the foyer again, but she pushed him suddenly, slamming him back against the door. He looked at her shocked.

"I know that you love me. I know that you've killed people and not cared. I accept that, but you are also the one who always showed up when I was in danger, carried me away from car crashes, witchy sacrifices, crazed vampires…" He huffed trying not to listen to her. She pushed him back against the door again and leaned in, trapping him flush against the door. "And you have always been honest with me. I know I can rely on you for all of those things."

"It's not going to be enough for you Elena." He whined at her, scrunching his face.

"I'm changing Damon. I don't know who I am right now or what is enough for me. So how can you?" She held him there against the door as he made an exasperated sound and looked up at the ceiling. He moved so quickly that she jumped a little and had to turn and look around the room for him. She really had to practise moving like that. She finally stepped into the foyer searching for him but she couldn't see him.

"And what about Katherine?" His voice came from above. She looked up to the rafters and watched him standing their lazily as though he were just hanging out. She was judging the height to see how easy it would be to follow him up there when she realised what he had asked.

"What about her?" She didn't want to use Katherine's name. It would feel bitter on her tongue. Damon shook his head and sighed.

"I had sex with her Elena. Are you not bothered about that?" She felt anger begin to trickle into her chest. She knew this conversation was inevitable and truth was, she was angry about it.

"Why did you do it?" She took a breath trying to stay in control of her bubbling emotions again.

"I don't know. It seemed like a good idea at the time." He said it so casually but she held herself back, continuing to breathe slowly.

"But you hate her. You told me that she has made moves on you before and you felt repelled by her." He shrugged. She wasn't going to let him play this game any longer. She took a leap and landed on the rafter just next to him. He looked over impressed that she'd done it in one go. She wasn't going to let him get away.

"I know exactly why." She said bluntly. He blinked at her waiting. "You thought I'd changed my mind because I went to Stefan when you were fighting, but I stopped you from hurting him because I knew you wouldn't be able to live with it if you killed him. Then you drank the contents of the bar, feeling sorry for yourself and when Katherine came in you thought you'd get your own back."

"Elena…" His tone was a mocking one, she gritted her teeth together and took a breath. She crossed over to the beam he was standing on, trapping him again. He shot her another exasperated look.

"You knew I would look for you there. You knew Jeremy would tell me and you even had Matt observing you after having tried to pull information out of him all day. It could have been anyone, but when Katherine walked in, she was easy to seduce. She still wants to pull your strings so you knew she'd be onboard…"

"Interesting theory…" He started to say but she put her hand over his mouth. He was startled by the gesture and momentarily stopped talking.

"You hoped that me catching your little set up would force my hand, drive me back to Stefan so you wouldn't have to try this." As she spoke she removed her hand and grabbed his shirt pulling him towards her. She kissed him fiercely, trying to take dominance. He tried to control the kiss but was failing as she leant into him. He grabbed her arms and tried to take control but ended up moving too near the edge and they both fell from the ceiling, landing on the floor in a heap. They both gasped, a little winded. Damon was on his feet first and he moved to take a seat but she grabbed him by the leg and pulled him back down with her. He got back up again frustrated with her and she shot up and pinned him to the wall, kissing him again. This time he seemed to enjoy the kiss and relaxed a little. She pulled back to stare up at him. He looked down at her calmly now.

"You said you wouldn't force me." She didn't know what to say. He was talking calmly and seriously now and she felt her heart start to throb, squeezing some of the air out of her chest. She took a step back from him. She searched his face for any indication that he was playing the game but he looked earnest and sure.

"I don't want this." He whispered, still sounding sure of what he was saying. She bit back tears and felt nausea starting to build in her stomach. Everything in her body hurt. Every cell felt like it was going to pop. He had made his decision. Could she respect it? She moved away from him turning her back for a moment, trying to collect herself. She had promised herself that she could maintain some dignity if this happened, that she could go on, but right now she felt as though she was dying. It was more painful that her transition had felt, more painful than dying a hundred times and she wasn't going to be able to keep it inside. She could hear him walk around her towards the brandy table. She looked up watching him move and noticed the vase of red roses on the side table. Probably the same bunch he had taken one from and placed on her pillow that morning. She looked down at her palm, free from any trace of thorn pricks thanks to her quick healing and remembered her analogy. His decision not to be with her was one of his biggest thorns, made to draw blood and make her recoil from him convinced that holding onto him this tightly would cause her suffering.

"Coward." She whispered knowing that he could hear her. He turned to look at her astonished. She stood staring him out. He seemed to be unaware of his astonished expression as he continued to hold it as they stared at each other. Then his expression changed entirely to one of anger. Her heart skipped a few beats in fear. He could be very frightening and right now his look was one that would send most people running for their lives. She was obviously hitting the spot then. She went to repeat her last statement when he ran at her growling as if he was going to attack her. She couldn't help but scream as he knocked her to the floor. His eyes were black and frightening and she felt him grip her so hard that she thought he would kill her right there. He ripped the shirt right from her body in one go and lifted her, throwing her against the wall as she had done to him. She closed her eyes waiting for him to bite her as he slammed his hands against the wall at the sides of her head, sending bursts of concrete flying around them and then he was kissing her. She was still too frightened to touch him when she realised that she had him right where she wanted him. She pushed him away from her disorientating him and then she launched at him, tearing open his shirt and knocking over a lamp in the process. He liked this new bold Elena who wasn't scared to fight back for what she wanted.

They continued to push each other around the room, tearing at their clothes until they were both naked on the floor. She could feel bruises from where they had hit furniture but she didn't care. She bit into his chest and he shouted in surprise, but she didn't want this just to be about blood. This was about showing him that she could handle him so she only took a mouthful before she straddled him and bit him again at his shoulder. He leaned up to bite her too but she pushed him back down to the floor. She knew he wouldn't resist for long so she raised her pelvis up and slowly let him slide inside her. His body shuddered as she sat back slightly and rocked on top of him. He groaned, tilting his head back and gripping the floor. She began to move faster and he squirmed as he gasped at the sensation. She leaned forward and licked up his porcelain chest in one long movement which had him growling and squirming even more beneath her. He looked into her eyes and she saw him surrendering there. He thought that he was too tough to be loved but she could be tougher. She knew that now and she was going to prove it to him every day that she wasn't a breakable flower anymore. She was Elena Gilbert, a strong woman and vampire. She moved faster now as she began to see him losing his mind, panting and clawing at the floor. His hair was stuck to his forehead and he was so flushed he could have been human. He was so beautiful. He began to make small moaning sounds, inviting her to his neck as he bore it for her. She liked those sounds and thought she'd elicit a few more before she complied with his need. He was almost at the point of release and he grabbed one of her thighs, begging for more contact, so she finally leant into him and bit down onto his neck.

He fell to pieces around her as she drank and rocked his body. As soon as she heard him climaxing she couldn't hold herself back anymore. His ecstasy was too infectious and she just about managed to hold herself together and not bite deeper as she climaxed above him. It seemed to last forever and she had to move from his neck and take a breath as they both cried out, shuddering together as they rode the wave. Sex with him was addictive.

They took time, catching their breath and slowing their heart rates down. Neither of them spoke. He pushed his hair from his forehead and put his arm under his head as he breathed. His muscular chest was hypnotising in its rise and fall. She sat up, feeling satisfied that she had made her point to him. He was still inside of her and she didn't care to move. He was looking up at her when she opened her eyes again. She knew he felt vulnerable, but had the surrender in his eyes been real? Was all his protesting and resistance over finally?

"What happens now?" He asked, still a little breathless. She smiled.

"Anything we want." He smiled too – a real smile born out of trust and love. Perhaps she had proved herself to him.

"Oh man, I need to sleep." He sighed, yawning. She had better release him from her, so she carefully got up and stood. He sat up and looked at her smiling. "Or we could just skip the _sleeping_ and do breakfast in bed." He ran his tongue over his teeth seductively. She chuckled and grabbed the remnants of his shirt from the lampshade to cover herself. As she did so he pulled a disappointed face and petted his lip. She shook her head laughing at him.

She felt good, albeit sore and bruised, but there was still one last worry in her mind. Every time they woke up together here lately something went wrong. As she pondered this fact, he stood up and embraced her with a concerned expression.

"What's wrong?" She held him to her, inhaling his scent and placing a kiss at his neck where she had bitten him. All evidence of her bite had vanished and she thought it was a pity. Still she knew that she had now left her mark on his heart too and she was satisfied knowing that like her scar from Stefan, it wouldn't be forgotten even should this not work out between them.

"Whenever we wake up here, you change your mind or something bad happens." She mumbled against his shoulder.

"Then we won't sleep." He retorted and even though she couldn't see his face, she could tell he was smirking. He was loving it. They both shook with a small laugh. Then he spoke again.

"Or we could stay at your place. No scary, Stefan fighting, Katherine memories there." She pulled back to look at him. He smiled and stroked her hair behind her ear. She nodded feeling very comfortable with that idea. Having him wake in her territory would be so much better and make it easier for them to kindle this flame without supernatural interference. Together they began walking up the stairs to find some clothes to throw on. She was glad she had made the decision to go shopping for new ones now as Damon had torn her outfit apart. They ascended the stairs still holding each other happily when he turned to her.

"Someone has to tell Jeremy." He said and before she could respond he shouted "Not it!"

She laughed punching his in the side.

THE BEGINNING.


End file.
